Paige Knight has had a crush on her neighbour since she could remember, stealing peaks at him through the window hoping that one day he would notice her too.
She seeks the help of his best friend to help gain his attention but in all the humour, lau...
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“How could you let me do It!” I screamed.
“How could you let me hurt you! How could u let me kill you...” I wept.
Toby's warm masculine hands were wrapped around me, they were comforting but not comforting enough.
“I wanted to make you happy” he stroked my hair, pressing me on his chest to suppress the loud sounds of my tears.
“Even if my happiness caused your life?”
“Even if, cause that's how much I love you... I never knew it would happen, never knew just a bite would make me lose my life but now that I do even if I can relive that day I'll still take that bite as long as it makes you happy”.
“You're crazy!” I screamed angrily beating him on his chest. I was furious, I was in flames, I wanted to burst out in anger but I couldn't. No matter how mad I felt, no matter how much regret consumed me I really just felt loved.
“You're naive!” I screamed out again and continued to punch him as hard as I could, never holding back until my blurry eyes cleared, until the effect of the drugs had worn off and then I realized it wasn't Toby, it was never him... I had conjured up everything in my head, I had created a world of my own that I wanted so much to be real but it wasn't, cause as I stared into Brandon's worried green eyes I could tell those free minutes of brotherly love was nothing but an illusion.
I can never truly know how Toby felt, I can never truly know if he spent all this while resenting me or loving me, Whether he had been watching over me all this while or just turning a blind eye...
If he really was watching over us, mom and dad wouldn't be divorcing, Kelly would have never died. But I had no right — no right to blame him, I was the culprit, I was the criminal, if anyone was to be resented for life it would be no one else but me.
“Paige calm down” I could heard Brandon's voice plead even with all the voices in my head his own was still the clearest, the one I wanted to hear over and over again, the only one I believed could save me from all my demons, I just wanted to open my eyes and hug him tight, to open my eyes and cry it all but when I did I realized I was still punching him hard like I had done for Toby.
“Calm down it's just a nightmare” he said again, this time his eyes were focused on mine, his eyes spoke a thousand words his mouth couldn't say and staring deep into them was all I needed to do, it was all the comfort I need, cause those green loving eyes told me only one major thing out of all the thousands -that he would never leave me...
“I'm scared Brandon” I pulled him in a tight embrace, “I'm frightened” all the tears rolled down. “I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, I don't know how to act” I wept hard.
He held me tight whispering words into my ears. “Then don't, don't do anything, you don't need to — you don't have to do anything, you don't have to say anything, you don't have to act. Just let it out, let out all the tears that's the only one thing you need to do right now... So let it all out” he ordered and I obeyed without even the slightest objection, I let everything all out... Every single thing.
