Paige Knight has had a crush on her neighbour since she could remember, stealing peaks at him through the window hoping that one day he would notice her too.
She seeks the help of his best friend to help gain his attention but in all the humour, lau...
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It seemed like my whole world was crashing down... How could just few words break a person so much?
I couldn't understand the emotions running deep, I didn't want to believe it, I wished I never heard the words, I wished it was a lie — that Casper was only pulling my legs, but no — he wasn't, and I couldn't tell why but my whole guts believed every word he said. Brandon was dying!
“Tell her! Tell her Brandon! Tell Paige you're dying!” Casper screamed and every word hit me hard, Brandon just stared at me silent.
It took a while but the security team were finally able to pull Casper out of the hospital and most especially from afflicting more pain and violence on Brandon, I had hurt them, hurt them both.
These were friends who were practically brothers and all because of me — a silly naive girl, they had to fight, they had to break up, I'm the spark that caused the flames and no matter what happens, no matter whether they shrug it off with a brotherly nod nothing can and will ever remain the same.
The rowdiness the whole event stirred up had finally calmed down, and no matter how much mom and Ella tried to hide it, it was obvious they were as curious as I to listen to what Brandon had to say, but they held back, they stepped out, they provided a platform for Brandon and I to talk it out, cause truly we needed all the privacy the heavens could provide.
We both stood silently, none of us knew what to say first, none intended to break the silence. Brandon's whole body was practically trembling, even if he was going to have to break the news to me one day it was obvious this wasn't how he wanted it to go.
“Are you going to talk or do I have to?” I asked coldly, I spent a passionate night with Brandon, a night I was meant to spend mourning — mourning my dead brother.
I had broken a heart, the heart of someone I had loved since the beginning, I had sacrificed the innocent life of my own friend for my own happiness and then allowed it to be all for nothing... Casper may never forgive me and I may never forgive myself but Casper isn't going to be the only person Brandon is going to have to be worried about.
“I'm sorry Paige, I never wanted you to find out like this” his green eyes watery with each word.
“Save the apology Brandon until when I can finally see you sane again cause you won't like the answer that apology will get at this point” my eyes were ablaze, there was hot fire burning inside me and it had no desire to quench.
“I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, and mine has gotten so bad that I need a transplant soon, really Paige, I wanted to tell you, wanted to cry in your arms, I wanted to let it all out... But I was scared, scared you'll leave me, scared to hurt you, scared to look weak in your eyes most especially I was scared to leave you.”
“How could I tell you, how could I explain something to you that I myself don't understand, how can I make you believe in something I don't, how do you expect me to tell you something Paige that I never wanted to be real!” He added.
Listening to the trembling in Brandon's voice broke me, understanding every word he uttered shattered me, I wanted to stay mad at him, I wanted to run out and never turn back, I wanted to hate him with every bone in my body.
But what will that solve? What would a thousand feeling of resentment change? It wouldn't make me feel any better, it wouldn't take away all the hurt, why waste even a minute you could use to love someone with all your heart on resentment?
I love Brandon and not even death is going to change that cause even on his dying bed am going to be there so am not going to waste any moment asking him why, am going to love him with every bit of me.
Brandon drew closer to me, he was reluctant, scared I would redraw, frightened by the reaction I would make but even with the fear he took a leap of faith and held my hand.
Knowing one day I may have to wake up and realize he isn't there anymore made me scared, it made every single touch and emotions heightened even a touch made a million emotions run through.
I'm really sorry Paige — really I am, if I could take back time I would, if I could have told you earlier I would, if I could even stop my own death I would... But I can't Paige, no matter how much I want to I can't! And I know you fucking hate me right now but -”
I pulled Brandon into an embrace, we both needed it, I didn't know how to describe it, whether it was one of love or pity but Brandon looked even more shocked than I. That wasn't the reaction he expected and neither did I, but I didn't want to lose any second and I told him.
“For as long as you're here, for as long as I can hear your heart beat, for as long as I can feel your breath so close, I'm going to make every moment worth wide, I'm not going to waste a moment in resentment because I know the reason you couldn't bear to tell me is because you love me, no one who loves a person will want to hurt them, no one would want to break bad news to the one they love because they wouldn't want to be the one to cause the tears to form and come running down.”
Brandon raised his head from our embrace, his face directly in front of mine. “How can such an amazing person like you exist? I don't deserve you, I don't deserve your love -”
“Shh-” I cut him off with my finger on his lips.
“This isn't a time to decide whether any of us deserves this love... I want to be here for you from now on, I want you to tell me everything, I want to be your second half, I want to be the one to make you laugh always even on your dying bed. We all deserve love, not just love — a great love, one worth wide, you know your worth, never believe you deserve something less.”
Brandon still had a surprised expression on his face, like he couldn't believe I was the one talking.
“Would it be wrong if I kiss you right now?” I chuckled lightly,
“Not if I beat you to it” I smiled and pulled him into a long desired kiss, this revelation was like a step up to us cause everything we did now seemed like our last moment, even the kiss felt like it was our last.
I was being strong, I was holding myself, I was trying not to fall, not to cry but the truth was that with every word, with every touch, with every kiss I was breaking inside.
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