broken sister

Chapter 31

We make it home and we decided to invite everyone to a dinner. I go into my room and get dressed. I wanted to dress nice bc you know why not. I went with a white long sleeve crop top, leggings and my checkered slip on vans. I put my hair half up half down but I put the up part into a bun. I fixed my makeup. Once I was pleased with how I looked I walked into the living room. I see Jacob smile when I walked out. "You look amazing" I look at him and give a small smile. "Thank you. You don't look bad yourself" he laughs and smiles. "Ready?" David asks walking out of his room. "Yep"

We make it to the restaurant and everyone is just hanging out, laughing, and having a good time. This girl comes up and asks if I can take a picture of her and David. I agree and take a quick photo. As she says her goodbyes she looks at me. "Oh and by the way if I were you I would order a salad I can see your rolls" I look at her sigh. "Really? Because all I see is a person with a snake ass attitude" Jacob said smiling at her. "Uh bye" David said rolling his eyes. I take a sip of water and don't say anything. "Don't worry about her. She's a nobody" Jacob said sighing. I just nod. I wish peoples words don't effect me but they do.

Our food comes I tried to order a salad but Liza insisted I get steak so I gave in. Everyone is talking about the vine days. I feel very awkward so I'm just sitting there playing with my food taking bites here and there. "Gwen you remember vine right?" Toddy asks looking at me. I just nod. "Mine were funny right?" He asks winking. I hate this. It's making me think about how I wasn't in my brothers life. I remember I saw one of his vines one time and it was so funny I would quote it all the time. Soon I found out he was my brother. It hurts to think about it. "I have to go to the bathroom" I get up and walk away.

I look at myself in the mirror. "Oh eww it's you" I sigh and don't even bother to look back. "Gwen you do realize that he only puts you in the vlogs bc you're his little sister" I don't say anything I just wash my hands. "Like you're honestly so ugly is sad" I roll my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me" she said pushing me. I just stand there and don't do anything. "You're fat, you're ugly, you're just a stupid ass wannabe" I look down at my shoes."oh and you do realize Jacob doesn't like you? He hates you everyone hates you!" She said laughing. "Bitch" she said walking out of of the bathroom. I take a deep breath and put on a fake smile and walk back to the table. Jacob looks at me and notices something is wrong. "What's wrong?" I shake my head "nothing I'm fine" he looks at me with sad eyes. I look way and just eat my food and make small talk with people.

We make it home and I go to my room. I change I to pajamas and take off my makeup. I put my hair into a pony tail. I decided to hang out with Jacob before I go to bed. I walk into the living room and sit on the couch. "Hey" I said as he looked at me. "Hey" He sits next to me. "Can I tell you something?" He asked looking at me. "Sure" I nod smiling. "When I was 10 my dad and mom were fighting. A lot. My dad lost his job and would leave almost the whole day and get drunk. I have 2 younger siblings. My sister who was 7 and my brother who was 6. When my dad started to get abusive I would take the beating for my mom and my siblings. I felt so lost. I had no one. So when I was old enough and my dad finally left us and I knew my mom and siblings were safe I packed up my bags and left" I look at him. "I'm so sorry" I said hugging him. He hugs back. God his hugs. He pulls away and looks into my eyes. He smiles. "What?" I asked with a small laugh. "Nothing" he looks away. I go to my room and grab my ukulele. "Lets play together" I said pointing to his guitar. He grabs it and starts playing riptide. "Wait" he gets up and grabs his camera. "Let's do a cover" he said smiling. "Sure" I nod. He sets it up and turns it on. "Ready?" I nod.

We finish the cover I look at Jacob. He looks at me. I suddenly kiss him. He pulls away immediately. "I...I'm sorry" I said getting up. "Gwen.." I don't let him finish I run into my room. I'm so stupid. Why the fuck would he like me back? Tears stream down my face. Everyone hates me. There is no point anymore. I get into my bathroom and grab my razor. "Hello buddy" I twirl it around in my finger tips. I place it in my wrist. One. Two. Three. SLICE. The deed is done. I continue to cut until I reach 8. My lucky number. I smile at my new wounds and clean them up. Once I was done I put on gaze on my wrists and go into my bedroom. I grab my headphones and jam music. Tears fall from my face. Soon enough I was asleep.