Oh God, some of the characters I've seen in books on wattpad just make me want to burn it. Metaphorically of course, there's no way I'm actually burning either my phone or the computer or the iPad. The worst thing about these characters is that in the poorly written books, they're all exactly the same! Exact same looks, exact same non-existent personality, exact same life. All you got to do is change the name from Ethan to Adam for the guy. For the girl, it varies a lot more, thank God.
I'm going to start off with the female characters:
This is what a female protagonist will look like in every single cliche book which has been poorly written by a 12 year old on this website.
She cries every time she stubs her pinky toe and sobs her heart out on every football player's t-shirt when she acccidentally squishes a bug in the process of stubbing her toe. She blushes every time a guy comes within 50 feet of her. She's super skinny with a thigh gap. She has white, flawless skin that has never even seen the back of a spot in her whole life. She only ever whispers or whimpers. She has to be saved by a guy every time she falls into a ditch of life. The ditch will most likely be her crush not noticing her for the millionth time because that's her biggest worry in life. She's still a virgin and she's still the baby she was 10 years ago. Her character has absolutely no flaws whatsoever and she is Miss Little Perfect.
That is literally it, all you have to do is change her name and voila! you have your typical cliched female protagonist.
So basically everything I'm not. Besides the virgin part, of course. What on earth happened to all the girls out there who rarely cry, the Asian and black girls, the girls who don't blush, the girls with acne and curves and oh, I don't know, possibly a realistic problem. A protagonist should be someone I would want to get to know and frankly, I don't want to get to know some perfect cry baby.
Now, onto the female antagonist.
She always speaks words of venom and never has anything to say. She wears 6 inch heels everyday to school. She always screeches or screams. She's a slut who has banged every jock in the school. She has blonde hair and wears tops that have her cleavage hanging out and skirts that have her ass showing. She's jealous of the protagonist because Miss Little Perfect has the school's bad boy after her. It's every girl's dream come true. She has absolutely no redeeming features about her personality whatsoever.
Again, change the girl'sname and there you have it! The classic antagonist featured in every cliche, typical story.
Goddamn it, not every girl's enemy is a jealous, evil bitch who's out to kill you.
Onto the males now. Ahh, guys, why is it that every girl dreams of their guy having a six pack? I don't even see what's so attractive about them. It'snot like you turn upto school shirtless anyway so nobody will see. At least, I hope no guy does that.
The male protagonist:
Has brown hair and the blue eues the colour of the ocean. Or the sky. Has a six pack and has his biceps and muscles bulging out of his clothes. Ew. Is a football player and an actual player - no, not in he plays with balls, you naive girls, he's banged every girl on the cheerleading squad. Is suddenly after the good girl who's never even looked at a guy before and is magically transformed into a good guy after banging her too.
The male antagonist:
Is either the protagonist's best friend or some dude on the football team. It has to be the football team, not the rugby team, not the hockey team, because no other sports exist in American schools besides football. And yes, I am aware that it's called soccer in America but do I give a shit? All you really have to do to the male antagonist is change his name. He has the same brown hair and the same blue eyes and the same six pack and the same biceps and all that shit.
That just shows that impossible beauty standards aren't just for girls.
But that is how similar all the characters in poorly written stories are. Honestly, I just want to slap all those characters, it's a good thing I click off before all hell breaks loose.
Although I just offered my services in the critiquing thread...all hell shall break loose sometime this week.
Vote if you hate these two dimensional characters too
Comment about your opinions
Later folks,
Izzy
YOU ARE READING
A Rant-Worthy World
RandomA book about all the things that annoy me in this world. Warning: there will be swearing in this book and it may be offensive If you don't like swearing or are offended easily, don't read. Simple as.
