Not the Same

The Decision

Ricky's POV

            After that dream, I've been so conflicted with my feelings toward Kian and Connor. I love Kian, but these feelings for Connor seem really strong for some reason. Why are these feelings so strong? When I'm near either one of them, I feel hot and my face turns red. I light up when either speaks to me and my heart races when they look me in the eyes.

            Did something happen between Connor and me before I got my amnesia? I really need to remember this! Kian had to go make some calls about his parents' funeral. I feel so bad for him, that's why we all are going to go with him back to North Carolina to comfort him. Joey and Cat are taking a week off and Connor went to work today to try and get off as well.

            Being alone made me feel like I was back at the hospital, but thankfully, I was able to walk around and do stuff and not get in trouble. I walk into the kitchen and search through the cabinets to find something to snack on. After a short search, I find a bag of chips. I take it and head back over to the couch.

            I then grab the remote and turn the TV on. The TV was still on Nickelodeon from yesterday and was currently showing Spongebob Squarepants. As I watched the episode, I had these feelings of love and happiness. When the episode ended, I had this déjà vu moment of something pretty big happened to me after that episode. I lie back on the couch and close my eyes; trying to remember that moment. Trying to remember that moment felt painful, but instead of stopping, I persevered and dealt with the pain.

            The image in my mind was blurry, but after concentrating for a while, it began to clear. I could see Connor looking at me rather intimately. I could feel that I was feeling the same. I could see that we were about to kiss. This moment felt very intense. I could feel my mouth watering at the thought of this and my palms sweating.

            Our lips were inches away from each other when Connor's phone goes off causing me to lose my concentration and forget the memory.

            Now I see why I have these feelings for Connor. I had a major crush on him at the time. Those feelings are still inside me, but I also have feelings for Kian. Agh! I don't know what to do. I love Kian, but I also have these feelings for Connor.

Kian has always been there for me since we were in school together. He's been my savior from those bullies at school and from myself. We've been friends for years and we know each other so well. When I would be sad or angry, Kian would know exactly what to do to make me feel better.

However, Connor was my savior here in LA. He took me in and healed my wounds. He gave me a place of shelter from the outside. He was able to get me a job, but I also recall he has been dating Joey throughout that time afterwards. Come to think of it, I wonder why they broke up.

When I was in the hospital, both Connor and Kian were by my side helping me remember my past. They didn't give up on me. They did everything they could to brighten the darkness in my mind. I was always happy to see Kian at the hospital, but I was happy with that car ride with Connor. They're not like anything I've ever met before.

I don't know what to do! I walk to the window and open it up. Feeling the shining sun on my face felt great. I really wish I had some sign of what I should do. As I thought this, a gentle breeze comes into the room; I close my eyes and enjoy the breeze. The breeze stops and after feeling that breeze, I suddenly felt different. I don't know, but something about that breeze made my choice clear. I know who I wanted to be with.

Afterwards, the front door opens and everyone comes walking in. "Hey, how'd everything go," I ask.

"Great," Joey said. "Our boss said we could leave for a week as long as we work all day today; so Cat and I will be gone for a while."

"I have good news, too," Connor says. "Mr. Rogers was very understanding. He has done the same exact thing for his friends and would hate it if he prevented us from doing the same for Kian."
            "That's really nice," Kian says. "Tell him thank you the next time you see him."

"I will," Connor says.

Kian walks over to me and hugs me. "I missed you," Kian says.

"I missed you too," I say. "I've been thinking about you so much and all I can say is, Kian Lawley, I love you so much. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for you. You have been by my side since we were little. I don't know what I would do if you were not in my life. Actually, I probably wouldn't even be on this Earth if it wasn't for you."

Kian, with tears in his eyes, he says, "Ricky that has been the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful thing anyone has ever told me. Thank you and I love you too, so so much!"

Kian and I embrace again followed by a very passionate kiss. Our kiss is interrupted by Kian's phone ringing. "I'll be right back," Kian says and kisses me on the lips quickly. He then leaves the apartment and goes out into the hallway.

Connor walks up to and says, "I'm really happy for you and Kian. You two make an adorable couple."

"Thanks Connor," I say.

Kian comes walking back from the hallway with a look of terror, anger, and shock all combined into one. I rush over to him and ask, "Kian, what's wrong?"

"That was the doctor who did my parents' autopsies," Kian says. "He says that my parents' car wreck was no accident."

"What do you mean," Joey asks.

"He said.....he said he found traces of poison throughout their bodies," Kian says. "He said it was a poison that acts slowly and you don't know it's affecting you until it's too late."

"Oh my god," Cat says. "I'm so sorry."

"I was supposed to go with them that day, but I was sick," I say. "The doctor said that this was done intentionally. If I would've been with them, I wouldn't be here right now. Someone wants us out of the picture, but who?"

Kian stands there looking at the floor and suddenly his head shoots up. "Oh no," he says. "Not him, it can't be him."

He turns away from us and begins whispering to himself.

Kian's POV

            "We were so careful," I whisper to myself. "How'd he find us? He's in prison. Did he escape? Crap! What do I do?"

            "Kian, are you okay," Ricky asks.

            I turn around and say, "Guys, there's something I need to tell you. The reason I left California when I was little is because............"