Not the Same

It's For the Best

Connor’s POV

            Ricky walks up to me and asks, “You ready to go?”

            “Yeah,” I tell him with a weak smile. “I’ll see you around.”

            Before he could say anything else, I instantly leave the apartment with Sawyer. I could not deal with seeing the sadness in his eyes. I can’t believe I just did that. I can’t believe I just split with Ricky, but I can’t be around him with him and Kian together constantly. Every sweet smile between them, feels like I am being pricked by a needle. Every time they hold hands, it feels like a cut is being formed on my body. Every hug, I feel like I’m choking. And….and…every kiss feels like a harpoon was just shot through my chest and stealing it away as the harpoon exits my body.

            “Connor,” Sawyer asks snapping me out of my mind.

            “Y-Yeah,” I stutter.

            Sawyer places a hand on my shoulder and asks, “Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, it’s not too late to change your mind.”

            “Yeah,” I say weakly. “I’m sure.”

            “Okay,” Sawyer says. Looking in his eyes, I could tell he knew I was still unsure of myself. “Let’s head to your own apartment.”

            We walk to the elevator and get inside. The ride up was silent with only the sound of the elevator rising followed by a ding. We exit the elevator and walk up to my new apartment. I pull out my key…my key, and unlock the door. I walk inside and turn the lights on. Looking around, I saw that the room was rather bare, with only a brown couch with two matching lounge chairs, an oak coffee table, and a TV in the living room. I walk into the kitchen and look around, the kitchen was spotless with silverware in the drawers and dishes in the cabinets. I turned on the sink to see clear water pouring out. Well, at least the water is clean.

            “Connor, where do you want me to put your stuff,” Sawyer asks.

            “Um, just put it on the couch,” I say. “I’ll figure it out later.”

            “Okay,” Sawyer says as he lugs my luggage over to the couch.

            I walked into the bathroom and saw that I needed to get some towels and washcloths. Next up, I walked into the bedroom across from the bathroom to see a bed with a dark green comforter and pillows with a bedside table and lamp. I walk over to the bed and sit down to see how it feels. I fall back on the bed and feel that it is extremely comfortable. I small smile appears on my face. “Connor,” Sawyer calls from the living room.

            “Yeah,” I ask. I rise up from my bed about to get up when I look forward and see someone staring at me. Myself. I walk over to the full body mirror and look at myself. I look slightly down and touch the mirror with my right hand. I look back up to be met with sad green eyes. I stood there feeling like time had frozen. The coldness from the mirror began to slowly transfer into my hand as the eyes in the mirror slowly started to leak tears. I couldn’t take my eyes away from the reflection as I watched as tears streamed down my face.