• 91: Selfish •

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Melody

It felt like home in Carson's arms. Like walking into a place I'd been yearning for weeks after a hellish trip. It felt like the world's warmest blankets engulfing me in the Arctic. Like protection from the biggest storm. Like just for some time, everyone else, everything else, didn't exist and there was peace.

"Leslie! I'm home. Pour me a glass of wine!" Margot's voice rang like a death bell throughout the halls. I sighed, and closed my eyes, wishing she would disappear.

Escaping everyone at school was helpful today, but I wished that I could escape from the Allen family as well. Mia had already kicked me out of the den today when she came in with her friend.

Halfway through the one of the home videos, I heard two girlish voices outside of the room. I could make one out to be Mia and the other to be one of her friends. They sounded disgruntled and annoyed and I knew it was at my expense.

"Oh my gosh, she's been in there like all day!" Mia sighed.

"Yeah, Mia like, no offense but your stepsister is totally crushing our vibes," the friend said. Her voice was nasally and would make me roll my eyes on a normal day. Today however, I felt angry.

"Yeah she's so selfish," Mia said.

I got up and took the videotape out of the VHS player gently, despite how angry I was. I picked up the box of things to do with my mom and left the den. As I passed by Mia and her friend, I glared.

"It's all yours," I said, dryly.

"Finally," Mia mumbled. It was half-hearted but still made me furious. The kind of fury that made my eyes water from how unfortunate it was that I couldn't slap her.

"Sorry that my mourning is so selfish." The girl's face turned bright red and Mia looked down guilty. I turned around and headed down the hallway, away from her and towards the stairs.

"Mia..." her friend started quietly.

"It was a long time ago," Mia mumbled quickly. I wiped tears off my cheeks as I took the stairs two steps at a time. I ran into my room and slammed the door. I put the box down on my desk and lay down on my bed.

Selfish.

What was selfish was Mia parading her friend around here like it's her house. It's my house. My father. My life. She and her mother invaded it like parasites in a garden.

It wouldn't even feel like that if they were nice to me. I didn't know what I could do to make them like me. I didn't want to worry about them liking me. I wanted my mother back.

An eventual knock on the door made me sigh in frustration.

"Go away Mia!" I yelled.

To my surprise, it was Carson, who brightened the sky in my gray coloured day. He watched the DVD's of my mother with me and stroked my hair soothingly as silent tears spilled over. We had just finished watching the last fashion show she did when Margot's obnoxious voice pulled us back to reality.

"Where are the girls?" Margot asked loudly. I heard a chair being pulled across the floor and I assumed she was sitting down with her red wine.

"Around the house. They both have company," Leslie said quietly.

"Melody with a friend over?" Margot laughed. I sat up and listened more carefully now, that heart sinking feeling creeping up to me as she laughed at my expense.

"Yes, you've met before," Leslie said.

"Oh, that boy? Ha! He's going to move along to better things anytime now," Margot said. "More wine. Just leave the bottle." She said it so casually, like another thing on her grocery list. She didn't care who heard or who was hurt.

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