Paper Thin

• 116: Pawns •

Melody

Alcott felt a little calmer the next morning. People still stared as I walked the halls, but I tried to draw as little attention to myself as possible. I was overthinking to the max on everything from walking to breathing. A deliberate casualness to my movement to show just how fine I was to everyone around me.

I forced myself to focus on my work, in my first class, determined not to think of anything or anyone outside of economics. We had an assignment due soon and I wanted to make sure I got as much of it done now during our work period, because I wasn't sure what would happen outside of school. Anthropology held slightly less focus, as I still wasn't sleeping, and my coffee was wearing off.

As I trudged my way to art class at lunch, eyes glued to the hall floor, I stopped as a pair of feet entered my line of vision. I froze and my gaze followed the feet up to the face of their owner. My eyes widened.

"D-Diesel," I stuttered out.

"Melody. Can I talk to you?" he asked, running a hand through his short blonde hair. He towered over me and my chest felt tight.

"No," I said quietly. The hallway was already fairly empty, and the few stragglers didn't look like they would be intervening anytime soon.

"It's important," he said.

"No!" I insisted, turning to walk away from him. He grabbed my arm and I jerked away from him so rapidly, I almost fell over. Quickly, both of Diesel's hands were raised in surrender.

"Look. I just wanted to say explain what happened at the party." Diesel started. "Rose told me you were into me and that you'd be in the bathroom waiting for me. I was drunk and–"

"Save your excuses. You don't get to feel better," I spat before storming away. My mind reeled as I rushed down the hallway. Did he really think that would make me feel better? He was trying to put the responsibility on someone else. And knowing that Rose planned the whole thing made it worse. She made us all pawns in her sick game. And she was okay with that. How far would she go?

Something inside me made me walk away from the art room and all the way to my locker. I pulled on my jacket and marched outside into the cold. I hesitated for a moment, unsure where to actually go. Home didn't feel like an option and back into the school wasn't either.

But I kept walking. I walked and walked until I ended up at the cute coffee shop that Carson and I had been to a couple times. It wasn't busy inside. There were a couple people scattered about, but their low chatter was drowned out by the sound of indie music through the speakers. I put my stuff down at a table in the back corner of the café, before deciding to order something.

"A medium black coffee please," I said. These days, it seemed like even lattes were too high a number. Inwardly, I cringed at how my voice sounded; tired, small, and shy.

"That will be $4.30," the girl at the cash register said. I nodded and unzipped my wallet, my hands shaking as I pulled out the cash. I handed it to her and faked a smile as best as I could. "Thank you, I'll bring it over when it's ready."

"Thanks," I said quietly before heading to my table.

I sat down and pulled my economics assignment out of my bag but found myself simply staring out the window. My mind was racing, thinking about everything Diesel said and everything he did before that. I thought about the mark on my cheek and that as much as I knew Margot didn't like me, I didn't expect her to hit me either.

"Your coffee," the girl from the counter said, startling me a little. "Oh, sorry!"

"It's okay. Um, thank you," I replied as she put the warm beverage down. I reached for it slowly and watched as she glanced at me while walking back to the register.

I wrapped my fingers around my mug and stared down at it as if caffeine had the answers to all the world's problems. I don't know how long I sat like that, but by the time I forced myself to drink the coffee it was on the brink of lukewarm rather than its original piping hot. Once the caffeine had woken me up a little bit, I decided to finish my economics assignment. Though every part of me dripped with boredom and my mind kept drifting away, I managed to finish what was left of my assignment.

I finally decided open Pandora's box and check my phone. I saw ten missed calls from Carson alone, and another three from Alani and Emma combined. There were about twenty text messages from them all as well.

Before I could call one back, the phone rang in my hands, Gavin's called I.D. displayed on the screen.

"Hi Gavin," I answered.

"Hey Kiddo..." Gavin said slowly. I suppressed a sigh, knowing that tone all too well. It meant that there wouldn't be good news waiting for me.

"Just spit it out already," I said lightly.

"Celeste Couture went with someone else," he replied. "I'm sorry."

"Did they say why?" I asked.

"No, they didn't," Gavin said. "Don't worry about it though. You'll get the next one. I'm sure of it." I knew why. The clothes didn't sit right on me. I was not skinny enough or pretty enough. I sat there for a moment, unsure how to deal with yet, another disappointing thing happening to me. I pressed my lips together as tears threatened to come to my eyes.

"Thanks," I replied, half-heartedly before hanging up. Phone in hand, I stared down at my empty coffee cup for a moment before looking at the screen. I opened the messages on there, which were all varying versions of 'where are you?' and 'hope you're okay'. I wasn't and it didn't feel like I'd ever be. But I wasn't going to say that to anyone was I?

I swallowed hard before packing up my things. I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked over to the counter to return my used mug. The girl behind the counter gave me a small smile, like she'd been made privy to what was happening in my mind and subtly encouraging me. I tried to smile back, but I was sure it was closer to a grimace.

I left the café quickly, the brisk air brushing the hair off my face, and cooling the tears that had managed to spill onto my cheeks. I didn't care that there was a foot and a half of snow on the ground, or that it was a far walk home. I needed the exercise and sitting in the coffeeshop wasn't going to get me that.

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Author's Note: Hello hello! Aren't we surprised? A chapter before the month is over? Shook. LOL Anyways! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and hopefully I'll have another one up for you soon! Much love! <3