My Past Memories ✔️ (Book 1)

Chapter 40

Amelia

Panic attack is one of the worst things to happen to a human. At first it slowly begins with your throat closing up. Until you feel like the whole world is spinning and there is nothing you can do except to gasp for air. Everything starts to become blurry as your tears fall none stop, you beg and plead for someone to save you.

The guards stood there unmoving with a smirk on their lips and an evil glint on the eyes. I wish I could say I was used to that look but no matter how many times I tried to convince myself everything was okay and I was having a nightmare, I knew I was telling myself a big lie. It felt like every fiber of my being burned until I turned to ashes.

Tears stung my eyes, as I remembered the lustful looks I used to get as I walked around naked in the mansion and suddenly I felt ashamed of myself. A person should never feel like this. I begged to the gods above that they wouldn't say anything to Sebastian or take me away to bring me to Edgar.

My throat kept closing up making it harder for me to breath. No matter how much air I took, it made it worse. It felt like thorns were scraping against my skin making me bleed as I screeched for them to stop. My ears were ringing and I couldn't hear anything. I opened my mouth to say something but only a gasp fell from my lips.

Forcing myself to turn towards Sebastian, I saw his lips moving but didn't hear anything. Maybe I've gone deaf and if I did, I would be thankful because then I wouldn't have to hear disgusting things the guards uttered my way anymore. But the one person kept getting stuck onto my mind and I forced the ringing in my ears to stop.

"Amelia, Amelia, you're shaking", Arms held me close to their chest.

His scent took over my mind and I instantly relaxed against him as he kept rubbing my back in a soothing manner. Glancing towards where the guards stood, confusion took over me as I saw their space empty but their footsteps gave them away and I knew they were making their way inside.

A breath of relief left my lungs and I placed my hands against Sebastian's chest to pull away slightly. Worry was written all over his face as stared down at me. My body felt light and my head spun. Taking a lungful of air, I forced myself to calm down or otherwise I would faint.

"I am okay", I tried to convince him.

"Don't give me that bullshit Amelia", He burst out and took a hold of my arm pulling me towards him.

He gently cradled my face in his arms and that was my undoing. A sob broke out of me and he immediately once again laid my head on his chest. With them here, I didn't know what to do, Edgar's face came to my mind and more tears flowed freely as his hands on my skin burned in my mind.

For once in my life, I wanted to just forget everything about the past. I wanted to be free again, wanted to feel the light without any burden. But forgetting seemed impossible because the weight of what I've been through would always be with me.

"Please, please just make me forget", I begged, clutching his shirt in my hands tightly.

He hugged me tighter and buried his face in my neck. My arms slowly wounded themselves around his back and I burrowed deeper into him seeking his comfort only he could offer. Minutes passed before we finally pulled away, I wiped my tears away and stared up at Sebastian.

His jaw was set and without a word he turned away from me making his way in through the door. His action stabbed painfully into my heart but I knew he needed answers. He wouldn't ask questions until I cracked and answered them myself.

Following behind him carefully, I stood at the door as he glanced back and nodded at me to come with him. We walked up the stairs and made it into his office. Once he was situated on his chair, my nerves began to kick back in making me gulp nervously.

"What happened Amelia?", His face held concern.

"Nothing", Murmuring, my eyes strayed away from his nervously.

Standing up, he advanced towards me until we were chest to chest. My tongue flicked out to wet my chapped lips and his eyes followed the movement. My whole body tingled with electricity as heat pooled into my core. I shouldn't be feeling like this, but his gaze held hunger as he stared at me.

"Okay, But you'll answer me when you're ready", He turned his back and sauntered towards the couch.

My heart wanted to pour every truth out, but I bit my tongue from saying anything. If I did tell him, he would do something dangerous and god forbid if anything happened to him I couldn't live with myself. Patting the seat next to him, he gestured for me to sit.

Hesitantly, I made my over to him and sat down. Suddenly, his body pinned me to the couch as his minty breath fanned over my lips. Peering up at him, I held out my hands to push him away slightly but my arms were pinned against his heart.

"Do you hear this?", His heart was beating loudly.

"This happens whenever you're around", He whispered.

"I will always choose you, Amelia. Even if we're hundred miles apart, I would always find you and choose you because I can't live without you. Whenever I am not around you, I feel like a piece of me is missing", He rested his forehead on mine.

My breath hitched in my throat and I closed my eyes savoring this moment and him. I wanted the time to stop so I could gaze at his eyes again and again because his eyes seemed to glisten with so much love that made my head spin.

"Please tell me, what happened downstairs".

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Omg I am crying, the part when Sebastian said I would always choose you, just pierced its way into my heart 😭😭😭.

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