The Queen's Shadow

The descent into madness

~~~Gabriel 06/07/1944

I woke up to something heavy on top of me. It took moments for me to notice the breathing. It was her; she was laying on top of me. My very first thought was to move, though it could mean the end of my life. I wanted to leave this room and to be free of this predicament. She was dangerous, and she was also my mother. It never stopped the horror of knowing what she was. I was making what little peace I had while fighting this horrific war but this... this was an entirely different concept.

This was no young woman this was a monster pure and simple. All I could do right now was fall into the safety of my mind, which made me want to melt away into my bed back in Baltimore. Sure it was never a good place but no place really was for a black American. I honestly never thought I would make it this far, I thought I would die on Utah beach, surrounded by gunfire and watching my brothers get mowed down like crops, the only real way I could ever describe that.

The machine guns tearing through us as we crossed the street to stop them. The fact that we even made it across to the other building was a miracle in itself. I always thought that I would die there, but the war that I knew had ended. It was over when met this mysterious woman. She looks so beautiful and yet so...so vulnerable

She had pale skin so white that it was as if she came out of snow. In contrast her was a fiery red; like the rage of a scornful soul damned to walk through hell. Despite the appearance, it was so soft and smelled heavenly. She was nearly 5 foot 3 and her petite physique was all a facade. The truth was, she was a monster.

My heart was trying its best to stay calm, and not run out of my chest and into the sky. She was still sleeping I am honestly baffled as to how. Surely she could smell my fear and know that I'm awake. My real question is; why come in this room of her mansion? I know it is her house. I was just shocked she came here. She was sleeping as if she was on the most comfortable mattress in the world.

She had 12 bedrooms, a large kitchen fully functional, and a basement if you could call it that. To make it even better is that she had four bathrooms. This was something that only a negro like me could dream of. I would never see this in my lifetime unless I was the help. My fear of her, what you truly cemented when I saw what she did. She could tear me apart like she did that man in the basement. His screams will haunt me until the last moments of my life. He may have been my enemy, but no one deserves to be slaughtered as if they were a lamb.

Another harrowing thought that had shot through my brain was; what am I? If this woman claims to be who she said she is, could she really be my mother? Was I ever completely human? Was I always an abomination? Even less than a negro? I then remembered my 1911. I could just put it to my temple and put an end to this nightmare.

God, I missed getting shot at by Germans at least then, it was a chance I would live. Though now that I really think about it; I would have rather died on that beach than live this nightmare. I knew my thought process was fucked in every sense of the word. This was not normal. As horrific as war is that is normal; this situation that I am in is completely different. I wish this was a nightmare, but I know this is no nightmare. In the end, a nightmare is just that; a fucked up dream and you can wake up from those.

I noticed something. It was a feeling that I hadn't felt; because I wasn't paying attention. Something I should've been doing. Instead, I was stuck in my thoughts. I looked down and my heart couldn't help but race. Her eyes were watching me. They were steady and focus I could feel them on me like I was prey. I took a moment to calm down and then willed myself to meet those eyes again. I don't know why I didn't notice her staring at me before, but I did now.

She was laying on top of me. Her chin right on my chest her facial features evermore apparent in the dimly lit room. A medium round face; with a slightly pronounced chin. A small nose with wide nostrils probably the only reason you would even notice her nose. Her eyes were something else they were bright as gold. There was a cold blackness in her pupils that lacked any sort of empathy. They were so black, you could feel yourself getting lost and never be found. Her eyes were shaped like oversized almonds. They were one of the few things that would catch you. She wore a beautiful pink nightgown, It looked smooth and elegant. What she wore earlier was a white button-up dress that went to her knees with puffed shoulders. She also wore black pumps with a white flower on the front of them.