The Queen's Shadow

A Challenge

~~~Apollos July 3rd, 1951

It's been two months since O'Brien's death, two agonizing months since I learned I could still feel something. It wasn't grief that consumed me but pure anger. Yelling his name wasn't enough and by his name, I mean Hans. Feeling the grenade blow me back wasn't enough. For me, failing to protect O'Brian was a depressing thing. It reminded me how weak I was at protecting my sons and daughter.

I roll out of bed, looking at the early morning. Lucia was staying with us and Lucian decided to visit, too. When asked why he was here, he simply said, 'Fuck Europe,' Two words that said a lot. When approached about the subject, he said nothing else about it. What that meant for me was that I got my sparring buddy back. I got up and looked at the morning sun, I got up, brushed my teeth, got dressed, and then made my way out of the room.  I didn't bother looking into a mirror, maybe it was because I didn't care.

I hurry up and make my way to Lucian's part of the mansion. I could tell it was freshly inhabited from his expensive cologne. I raise my hand to knock on the door only for him to say, 'Don't you dare ask me to help you train,' I then said, "You're the only one who can help me train," 'Kaoru can help you train too,' He said, yelling through the door. 'In fact, why the hell do you keep bothering me for it?' I think to myself, Not only is he in one of his moods but it seems like whatever happened in Europe pissed him off.

"I need help, Lu. I know you heard about O'Brian," 'The traitor child that somehow died because he had a human side to him?' Lucian shouted through the door. "He was a good kid, Lu," I'm still shouting at him through the door. "I need your help. You're the only one who can help me get stronger. Plus I've been training with you the most," I say, I hear footsteps and Lucian opens the door.

His blue eyes focused on me as he said, 'The only reason why I even bother is that you're the youngest. You somehow get your way with me every fucking time as you do with Mother,' Before I could even open my mouth, he says 'What the fuck is with your hair?' I run my hands through my beard and then I scratch the forest on top of my head, I haven't had a decent haircut in a long time, I think to myself.

It's been two months since I've had Lilith cut my hair," I tell Lucian. 'Well, you need to have her do it again. I'm not training with some goddamn wildebeest,' I then said to Lucian, 'It's because I'm black now?" Lucian almost responds but then notices a morbid smirk on my face. 'You're real fucked up for that, Apollos but fine,' I say "Fine. Anything else you want me to do?" Lucian takes a sniff of the air and says, 'Take a decent fucking shower, you hobbit. I'll meet you in the training room in two hours,'

My head starts to itch and I scratch it. Somehow I feel like I had proven Lucian right by not taking a shower even though I took one last night.

~~~Lilith

I wake up and stretch, stretching my arms widely and yawning loudly. I look in the mirror and notice my hair is a mess. I'm wearing my favorite lavender gown, I've had this gown for almost 80 years and I still enjoy wearing it. I grab a comb and begin to start combing my hair, the comb pulling out lint and knots of hair. A few more comb strikes and my hair is just curly, not matted. I crack my neck and I look at the morning sun.

It's then that I hear a knock on my door, I open the door and I see someone surprising. Apollos. 'Hey Mom,' Apollos says with a calm voice. He's finally in better spirits, "Good morning my son. What brings you to this side of the mansion?" He gives me scissors and some clippers and says, 'I need a haircut," A smile comes across my face, it was my time for Apollos. I'm going to enjoy these few minutes.

I invite him in and I look at the scissors with a smile, thinking of how I'm going to cut his hair to look almost like his father but give him his individuality. I sometimes miss the fact that I used to cut Michael's hair, too. I then remember not to dwell on these thoughts, I force myself not to dwell on them because I have Apollos with me right now. I have my youngest son with me, it is his time. I spent every day this month with one of my children, talking, planning, or even going as far as to play a board game.