Farewell Taylor

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CARTER (CHAPTER 43)

"Is it here?" Chris asks me as he stops the car right in front of Taylor's apartment building.

"Yup. Thanks, man," I tell him, patting his shoulder. He smiles at me, motioning me to go.

"Good luck." Smiling at him I open the car door, slamming it shut as I run to the building. My mind is all over the place, just wanting to see Taylor is killing me. Racing to the elevator, I press the up button, waiting impatiently, for the elevator door to open. 

The doors then open, my feet moving to get inside. Pressing on the number, I wait for the doors to close, the elevator moving slowly up as the numbers rise to number ten. I'm practically pacing inside the elevator, even though there's literally no space. 

The elevator then hits the number ten, the doors open to Taylor's hallway. Rushing outside I run to her apartment door, knocking on it multiple times. After my fifth knock, the door the opens, my smile wide yet drops when I see Shawn.

"Carter?"

"Shawn?"

"Um, what are you doing here?" I raise an eyebrow at him in confusion, wanting to just see Taylor, not answer his stupid questions.

"To see Taylor of course," I tell him. His face expression fully drops in sadness. "What's wrong?" He sighs, running his fingers through his hair.

"You don't know?"

"I know she's going to Paris. What? There's more?" My heart is literally beating out of my chest, trying to understand what he's trying to say.

"Carter..."

"Jesus Christ, spit it out, Shawn!" I yell at him.

"She's gone, Carter. She already left an hour ago. Lila and I both said goodbye to her Carter. She's already on the plane to Paris."

"You're fucking lying," I tell him. He looks at me with sadness, his eyes filled with agony. Anger rising inside of me, I push through Shawn, walking inside the apartment.

"Carter?" Turning I see Lila, her eyes are red, mascara smudges on her cheeks. No, this can't be true. Running to her bedroom I open the door, my eyes wandering through the room. It's empty. Feeling a hand on my shoulder, I turn around, staring at a gloomy Lila.

"She really left?" I whisper to her. She nods, her palm rubbing my back for comfort. "Can I?" She nods, stepping away she lets me go into the room. My heart breaks as I stare at the empty room, the empty bed, the empty walls. Remembering the memories Taylor and I had on her bed, the way she let me touch her body with so much trust and love. 

Walking to her bed I sit on it, feeling the cold covers with my hand. Lying down on it I cover my eyes, rubbing away the tears that are close to just falling. I remember my father telling me that "men don't cry," yet, sometimes when a girl breaks a guy's heart, a man has to shed some tears. 

Rubbing my eyes, I sit up, not loving the way I feel right now. I came here so happy, yet now I feel the complete opposite. I feel broken. I feel used. I feel different than I've ever felt before in my life. To this point, I don't even know if I'll even survive.

"I'm sorry Carter." Lifting my head I see Lila looking at me with sadness, yet a smile still planted on her face. Sniffing I smile back, the heaviness on my chest making it hard to breathe.

"For what? She left. It's no one's fault."

"Yeah, but she broke your heart. Even her's," she says.

"Was she sad?" I ask her. Lila nods rapidly, crossing her arms.

"She felt and looked horrible. It looked like she just spent a night in hell." I chuckle.

"Yeah well, now she knows how I feel," I mutter.

"I think I'm gonna see what Shawn's doing. Take your time alright?"

"Thanks, Lila." With a smile she walks out of Taylor's room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Standing up I take a step back from the bed, my eyes wandering the bed and plain walls. Well, a plain wall with one sticky note on it.

"Wait a minute..." Walking to the bed I reach to grab the sticky note, ripping it off the wall. Opening the sticky note I find written words on it, a full paragraph that starts with my name.

Carter, 

if you're reading this then you must know that I wrote this note early the morning I left. I knew for sure that you were going to come here to say "goodbye" to me, and I'm now guessing you've already figured out that I'm already gone. 

This note is not to make you cry, but to make you continue life without me. Thank you for making me your first actual girlfriend, and thank you for being my first actual boyfriend. Thank you for being my first and for loving me. I will miss you Carter Green. Forever and ever.

As I finish reading the note, my heart aches, the feeling of it never going away. Taking a deep breath I fold the note, putting it in my pocket.

"You okay?" Shawn's voice enters the room, making me look up at him.

"Yeah. You?" He shrugs, leaning against the wall.

"I'll be fine. You, on the other hand, look like shit." I laugh, sighing as I look at the ground.

"Thanks, man. Honesty is what I need right now," I tell him.

"Look, Carter, I'm sorry for treating you like you were some bad guy. You treated Taylor with love, and shockingly, she loved you back."

"Where are you going with this?"

"Don't stop living your life okay? Don't be who you were before because Taylor's gone. Be someone who she wants you to be," he says with a smile. "You also won Lila's heart as well so I give you massive credit on that." Laughing I walk up to Shawn, putting out my hand he grabs it and shakes it. 

"Take care, Carter."

"You too as well Shawn," I say. Letting go of his hand I walk out of Taylor's room, the note still in my pocket.

"You leaving?" Lila says. With a nod and smile, I walk up to her, giving her a hug. She hugs me back, whispering in my ear that I will be okay.

"Bye Lila. Bye Shawn." They both walk me out, and with a wave of goodbye, I walk to my car feeling the complete opposite of happiness.

"Well? Did you do it?" Chris asks me as I get in the car. Sighing I take out the note from my pocket, handing it to Chris. He looks at me in confusion yet takes the note and unfolds it. "Shit, Carter. I'm sorry man," he tells me, passing me the note back.

"Don't be. There's nothing I can do about it. She's gone and I don't need pity alright?"

Sighing he nods, starting the car. Chris backs out of the parking spot and drives away from Taylor's apartment building, the final memories that I've had with her in that building gone. Burned. Erased. No longer to be seen ever again. 

Farewell Taylor, the girl who broke my heart. 

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