25 ~ You owe me an explanation

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'I think she's mad at me.' Harry said while looking back at his friends.

You weren't sitting with them. You were sitting at the Slytherin table with your housemates. You didn't want to see Harry.

You had been having so many mixed feelings.. You hated Draco for lying to you again but you felt awful that he got injured. He said that he had an explanation but Harry interfered before he could even say anything.

'I don't think it's that strange that she is. You hurt her boyfriend.' Hermione spoke.

'He was going to use crucio on me! What was I supposed to do?!'

'Use Stupefy insteas of some stupid spell you don't know the effects off!' Hermione hissed.

Harry looked at you. You were just staring at your plate of food. You wanted to visit Draco but you were too afraid that it would go wrong. But he needed you..

You sighed and pushed your plate away. You got up and gathered the courage to walk up to the hospital wing.

The closer you came, the harder you wanted to run away into the opposite direction. Why would Draco curse Katie? Did he poison Ron, too? Why was he hiding it from you? Didn't he trust you? Was pansy, right?

Were you never going to understand the life of a Malfoy? Was there a dark secret in his family that you would never understand? Something he would never tell you?

You walked into the hospital wing. You looked around and slowly approached Draco's bed. You saw him laying there, his eyes closed, his head turned to you. You realised that he was lucky to be alive.

His eyes opened as soon as you came closer. You stopped and just looked at him. Draco sat up a little with a painful face.

'I didn't think you'd show up..' He said.

'I'm still your girlfriend.' You just said.

Draco looked at you.

'You owe me an explanation..' You said right away. 'You told me you had an explanation. That you didn't want to lose me.'

'Yeah, I'm doing fine. Thank you for asking.' Draco sighed while rolling his eyes.

'You're seriously going to be like this? What happened to the Draco who literally begged me to listen to him? I'm giving you a chance to explain it.'

Draco sighed and looked ahead of him. You felt powerless. You had no idea how to talk to him right now. This was a stupid idea.

'Draco.' You said.

He didn't look at you. Was he ignoring you?

'Draco!'

You couldn't believe this. What happened? Why wasn't he as desperate to keep you as he was right before he got injured. You actually got tears in your eyes.

'I get it.. I'll go.' You choked. 'Only when things get rough, you're pretending that you want to keep me in my life but when you have to live up to it, you can't fight for us.'

'I have an explanation. I really do. But not telling you is the best way to keep you in my life.' Draco said while still not looking at you.

'Is it?! Because I clearly remember asking you to be honest with me.'

'It is! If I tell you why I did certain things.. all you'll see is a monster. I will pull you into something which you shouldn't be a part of.'

You sighed and ran your hand through your hair.

'Pansy was right.. wasn't she?'

Draco looked at you in confusion.

'I will never understand the life of a Malfoy. In the end, we won't work out because I can't understand what you're going through. The things your family keeps from everyone..'

'That's not true. No one will understand it. Not only you. The entire world doesn't. Even Pansy wouldn't understand.'

'Why don't you make me try to understand?'

'Because you'll run away as soon as the first sentence to understand leaves my lips.'

You grabbed a stool and sat down besides him. You grabbed his hand. Draco looked at you. You slowly laid your hand on this side off his face and rubbed your thumb past his cheek.

'You do know that I'm happy that you're alive.. right? I haven't talked to Harry since he harmed you.'

Draco smiled a little and laid his hand on yours.

'I know.'

'And you also realised that I just want to help you.. right? Help you go through whatever is happening. That's what girlfriends are for.'

'I just don't want to lose you. If anything, you're the only good thing I have left in my life.'

That hurt you to hear that. Were you the only positive thing in his life? His life had to be messed up..

'And I'll be here. I'll listen to you.. I'm sitting down so I can't immediately run away.. I just want to understand.'

'I love you, Y/N. I just hope that you will actually be able to listen to me..'

'I love you too.'

Draco sighed and slowly let your hand go. He moved his hand towards his sleeve on his left arm. He swallowed and he then pulled it up. He immediately looked away from you.

You saw the dark mark on his arm.. an active dark mark. Harry was right.. Draco was a death eater. You were shocked and scared. You had no idea what to do.. But you managed to stay seated.

'Why.. I mean how.. Who did...' You couldn't even formulate a question.

He pulled his sleeve back down.

'This wasn't my choice. I didn't want this. I don't think Voldemort is the best person to rule the wizarding world.. I just have no choice.' He spoke softly while slowly looking at you again.

'Someone forced you?' You asked.

'My family did. My father. He's one of the main death eaters to advice and support the dark Lord. Seeing that I'm still at Hogwarts and a Malfoy, I have been given a task. I don't want to complete it but if I don't, he'll...' Draco stopped for a moment and had to swallow to make sure that he could stay strong. 'He'll kill me. Voldemort will kill me if I don't do what he's asking from me.'

You were in absolute shock. How could he have been walking around with this? Didn't he want anyone to talk to? Not many people would take the time to understand.

'What do you have to do?' You asked.

'Mend a Vanishing cabinet.. and kill Dumbledore.'

'Kill Dumbledore?!'

'Shush.' Draco hissed.

'So that curse was him?' You asked.

Draco nodded.

'So that means you also put poison in the gift to him?'

Draco nodded again. You held his hand tightly. You couldn't help him with this. That's why it was so hurtful. You wished that you could.

'Thank you for telling me.' You said. 'Thank you for explaining it. Thank you for being honest.. I understand that it isn't your choice.'

Draco smiled a little. You got up and you hugged him. Draco hugged you back, He held you tightly.

'What did I do to deserve you?' He asked.

'Being you.' You grinned.

You let him go and cupped his face. You pressed your lips against his. You felt kinda okay.. it was scary and you had to take some time to process it. Maybe it didn't quite hit you yet. You pulled back.

'You have to rest. Promise me you'll rest.'

'I will.'

You kissed him once more.

'I'll be back later to check on you.'

'I can't wait.' He grinned.

You then walked away. You past the Gryffindors towards your common room. You walked to your room right away. You sat down on your bed and allowed yourself to fall backwards. You stared at the ceiling and then it hit you..

Your boyfriend was a death eater..

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