Drowning

Chapter 22:"It's selfish"

Leah's P.O.V

We are finally back home. It's Sunday evening and Alex and I are getting ready to go to visit Dad.

"Are you ready?" I ask Alex. The question has a deeper meaning that I think he caught up on. Alex nods and opens the front door. We make our way toward the hospital. As we walk down the white halls I hear my sneakers squeak with every step. The only sounds are my shoes and the beeping of heart monitors.

"Hi Dad." I greet as I enter his room.

He smiles and makes his arms wide open, asking for a hug.

I go hug him. Alex hugs him after me.

"How are you feeling?" Alex asks looking worried. I glance at him and take a deep breath waiting for my Dad's responds.

Dad sighs," I'm doing okay. But I have to tell you something very important." Alex and I glance at each other before giving dad all our attention. Dad takes a deep breath before speaking.

"We don't have enough money for me to continue."

My eyebrows furrow at his responds.

"What do you mean?" I ask walking toward him.

"I don't have enough money to continue my chemo." As his words register in my head my eyes go wide.

"What?!" I ask a little too loudly. "What do you mean we don't have enough money?"

Dad sighs. He opens his mouth to respond but I cut him off," You can sell everything. All our things, your things, anything. We can get money. But if you stop chemo that means you're gonna d-..."

My voice trails off when the realization hits me. I can't breathe. My lungs have collapsed. He can't die. There has to be something we can do. Anything.

Dad takes my hand in his, grabbing my attention. He looks in my eyes before saying," I don't want to use the money your mother and I have saved for you futures." I feel the tears run down my face and I chock out," But we can get that money again. We can't get you back after you're gone."

Dad just shakes his head. I look him in his eyes and I see the pain and sorrow he has been through. I lay my head on his chest and sob.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to him.

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ __

I realized that Alex left the room just after Dad said what he was going to do. I guess he couldn't handle it, I'm not even sure if I can. But my Dad is very stubborn so it doesn't really help if I try to convince him. I mean I obviously don't want him to stop his chemo but he won't listen to me. I tried to convince him back in his room but he didn't want to hear it.

I am currently walking toward my car and searching for Al. I really hope he is okay.

When I turn the corner I spot him leaning against the car. I sigh and make my way toward him. I take his hand in mine and when he looks at me, a small smile appears on my face. He smiles back but I can tell it's not reassuring. We get in the car and make out way toward home.

The car is silent as we drive. I didn't expect much, I mean our dad basically just told us he is killing himself. So, today hasn't been the best of days. About half way home Alex breaks the silence.

"Why is he doing this?"

I glance at him for a second before looking at the road again. I sigh.

"Al, I don't know."

Alex shakes his head while snorting a bitter one," It's selfish."

I nod," Yeah, it is."

Alex and I fall silent. I don't know what to tell him. How to make him feel better about everything. Because if he feels even half as sad and frustrated as I do, there really isn't much I can do to help him at this point.

When we get home we eat dinner quickly. Dinner as in leftover pizza Alex order yesterday. It was good, don't get me wrong. When we're done eating I begin to grab everything to take it to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Al's voice reaches me as I turn around looking at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"Cleaning?" I question.

Al shakes his head and takes the plates from my grasp.

"No, I'm cleaning." He states walking toward the kitchen.

"Okay." I state to myself looking around, confused.
I decide to go catch up on Black Sails, I'm really behind. That's not the real reason, tho. I need a distraction.

I'm half way through the episode when I hear the door bell ring throughout the house. I sigh with an eye roll and press pause. I drag my body toward the front door. As I open the door I am met with Noah. My eyebrows furrow as I stare at his face.

"Noah? What are you doing here?" I question.

He looks up with his own furrowed eyebrows," I had a feeling that-... that you needed someone."

I lift my right eyebrow at him," Really?"

Noah sighs with an eye roll before saying," Fine. Amelia was irritating me."
"Why?" I question with a little snort.

"She has all her friends over for a sleepover. Fucking bullshit." Noah mutters the last part. I snort at his childish behaviour and open the door wider.

"Well, come on in." I smile at him.

He smiles back entering the house. I close the door and make my way toward the living room. Al is seated on one of the lazy boy couches waiting for me. When he sees Noah he jumps up and rushes toward him.

"Hey, man." He greets Noah with a handshake. Noah shakes back.

"Hey, Alex. " Noah chuckles.

"What are we watching?"

"Well..." my voice trails off glance at the TV screen.

"Black Sails? I like." Noah states making himself comfortable on the other lazy boy couch.

My eyes narrow at his statement," Since when?"

Noah chuckles and glances at me," It sort of grew on me."

He smiles at me, I smile back.

I press play and we continue the amazing episode.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Heyy there hot tea!!

I know this chapter is very short but this chapter is just like a filler chapter.

And ... I don't know what to write. *Crying sounds*

Thanks for reading.

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