Drowning

Chapter 44:"Sailor, I love you too."

Leah's P.O.V.

After my dad talked to me about our situation my mind has been all over the place. Pros and cons about every possible outcome go through my head as I stare out the window with a blank expression on my face. Noah hasn't said a word since we left the hospital but I think he thinks I'm so quiet, because of my dad being in the hospital. We pull up in my drive way and Noah shuts the car off.

Noah sits back in his seat and rests his head against the headrest. He then turns his head toward me.

"How you feeling?" He asks in a soft voice that makes butterflies appear in my stomach.

I bite my lower lip as I continue staring forward. I don't know what to tell him, because I don't know what to feel or how I feel.

Noah lets out a small sigh at my silence before he lifts his body from the seat and leans toward me.

"Sailor, your dad will be okay. He is going to make a full recovery and everything will be back to normal."

No it won't. Not even when my dad is healthy again, everything won't be back to normal.

"No it won't." I say just above a whisper. Noah's eyebrows furrow at my words as he stares at my face.

I still don't look at him.

"What do you mean?"

I stay silent as I continue staring forward.

"Are you talking about my scholarship?" Noah's voice is filled with confusion and sadness.

"Obviously." I finally say slowly closing my eyes to keep the tears from falling.

"Sailor, that doesn't matter. We will still be together and we will make it work. Yes, it will be hard but we can do it." Noah says in a surprisingly hopeful tone.

I finally look at his hopeful face. Tears still threaten to fall from my eyes.

"Is that what you want?" I ask.

Noah looks at me with confusion as he says," Of course, I do."

I stay silent as I look at him still thinking of pros and cons about everything.

Noah reaches his hand toward my face and cups my cheek. I obviously lean into it. Noah's eyebrows are still furrowed as we stare at each other. His eyes shine with concern and fear. He slowly leans in and kisses me softly. His lips move slowly at first. His lips start moving faster and harder against mine as he brings his other hand toward me.

For a moment I think that this is going somewhere, he pulls away. Noah leans his forehead against mine. Both of our eyes closed. Or I think his eyes were closed.

"Sailor, I love you." Noah whispers in a very sweet tone.

A small sigh escapes my mouth as I feel a pang inside my chest.

"Why do you have to make this so hard?" I whisper keeping my eyes shut. I can feel Noah's confusion without even opening my eyes. He backs away from me but I don't move. I stay in place with my eyes closed.

"Sailor, what are you talking about? I'm making what hard?" Noah asks. And I sense a little anger in his voice.

I sigh licking my lips before opening my eyes finally. In front of me is the love of my life sitting and staring at me with confusion and a little anger.

"Noah, I am extremely happy and proud of you for getting that scholarship. I cannot even begin to explain to you how much joy and happiness I have for you. But... I don't think that we should continue with our relationship after you leave next week. I don't think we should continue our relationship after... tonight." I say feeling the pain in my heart all ready starting.