Difference

10. Bad, but Fun.

Journal #5:
Farrah told me she'd call me tonight. We actually talk. My mom keeps saying she likes me but that's what my mom says about any girl who even looks in my direction. I think she might be nice to me because she feels bad. It doesn't matter, at least she's around.

Adonis»

It was now later at night, we'd opened gifts, eaten, visited family, and we were finally home.

My mom told me to go to bed, since we had to go to Ottawa tomorrow morning. But just when I was going to sleep— Farrah called me. She'd mentioned earlier that she'd call me later, but I didn't expect her to call now; and I wasn't just gonna ignore her.

Should I?

I wouldn't know what to talk about..maybe I could just pretend I was sleeping?

No..that's not what friends do. And she's my friend.

"Hello?"

"Hey Adonis..you aren't going to sleep are you?"

"No." I lied. It's strange, everytime I talk to her again, I forget how much I like hearing her voice.

"Oh..I got my phone back, thank god. I called you because uh...well..I'm having trouble."

"What's your trouble?" I asked, pretending to know how I could even help.

"I'm feeling a little..alone. Do you ever feel like that?"

All the time.

"I guess..kind of. Don't you have friends though?"

"I haven't really been speaking to Skylar or Melanie, my other 'friends' are just people I kind of know but don't really speak to. I got fired from Sephora for not showing up yesterday, my family is pissed at me. I just feel like shit."

"I'm sorry Farrah-"

"And I'm sorry to just call you and dump my stupid problems on you. It just feels good talking to someone who I know won't judge me."

Farrah is nice to everyone, they all love her. Why would she call me when there's so many people to choose from?

I never liked Melanie, or Skylar too much. But I'm somewhat glad that they missed the opourtunity to talk to Farrah tonight..because I get to.

"You don't have to apologize. I like talking to you..even though I don't know how to help you."

"That really means a lot Adonis. How'd your day go?"

"I got some cool stuff, then I visited some family. I wish you could've been here." I blurted out.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"I wish I could've been there too, it sounds like you had fun." She said chuckling.

Farrah makes me feel a lot of weird things. Nervous, but sometimes confident. Awkward, but sometimes comfortable. I don't know if this is what it's like to like a girl, but it seems like it fits all the requirements.

But I don't see her and I together. She would never even agree to go out on one date with me, not like I'd ever be brave enough to ask.

"Hey can I ask you something?" I said snapping out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"How do you know you..like someone?"

"Aww Adonis do you have a crush?"

"No, no. Just a hypothetical."

"Hmmm. Well when I like someone...I may get nervous around them, I go out of my way to talk them, I feel nice when they go out of their way to talk to me, things like that."