glory days ↣ joshler ✓

21. Out

Josh may have been high.

But Tyler was fucking stoned.

It was almost midnight and him, Josh, Hayley, Ashley, and Nyla were all sitting on the kitchen floor against the counters, talking. Jenna and Sarah came in to greet them when they arrived a little bit ago but when they realized how weird everyone was acting they went back to the living room, drinks in hand.

"So," Tyler giggled. "So you mean to tell me in sixth grade you were the one who stole my pizza eraser?"

"Yes," Hayley giggled. "I'm s-sorry," she laughed out. She wasn't feeling the effects as much as Tyler was because hers had worn off but she found it funny as fuck to see her friend like this. "I lied and said I found it on the floor because I felt bad and the only way I could redeem myself was by becoming friends with you."

"You bitch," Tyler laughed. "I thought you wanted to be friends with me because I was cool."

"Hardly," Josh cut in causing everyone to laugh again. Tyler definitely had the lowest tolerance.

"This is nice," Tyler hummed. "I feel like nothing in the world could bother me. Why haven't I tried this before?"

"I dunno," Ashley smiled at him. "It's nice to see you this relaxed," she rested her head on Hayley's shoulder. "You're usually hella uptight."

"Do you guys wanna hear a secret?" Tyler asked, not even registering the last part of Ashley's reply.

"Yes," Josh nodded excitedly. Everyone else murmured some sort of agreement promoting Tyler to continue.

"When I took Jenna on our date," he snickered. "We kissed. "

"Why are you laughing what's so funny about that?" Nyla asked with a smile on her face.

"Because I didn't feel anything," he replied, still giggling. "And I remembered about that girl I took out sophomore year. She was such a bitch. Ha..." he paused. "I remembered how we kissed then too and how I didn't feel anything either. I had just assumed it was because she was a bitch. But I thought about it long and hard and then realized I don't even think I like girls," he laughed.

The vibe of the group quickly went from playful to serious. "Wait, what?" Ashley asked, concern on her face. The brownies didn't really do much to her because she was used to stuff much stronger. She felt it a little bit but was still sober enough to know what was going on.

"I cried about it in my room the other night and had a real bad mental breakdown and then realized I'm probably gay," Tyler busted out laughing. "Isn't that funny?"

"Ty," Josh piped up. "I'm proud of you. We may be high off our asses and you probably have no filter right now but just know I'll always be your best friend. Whether you like dick or not."

"Thank you, Joshie," Tyler rested his head on Josh's shoulder just like Ashley had done with Hayley.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that but he felt his eyes slowly start to close before he drifted off to sleep.

---

Tyler woke up the next morning to something licking his face. "Josh..." he mumbled. "Josh, stop," it took him a second to realize Josh wouldn't be licking his face. He popped one eye open and was met with Jim licking his forehead. "Jim," Tyler groaned. "Go away. I don't like you."

"One, don't be an ass to my dog. Two, why the hell would you think I was licking your face?" A voice spoke. Tyler rolled over onto his right side and was met with Josh putting away his laundry.

"Good morning to you too," Tyler replied. "And I don't know it was just my first response. Don't attack me," he sat up. "Oh my God I'm exhausted."

"It's literally noon," Josh laughed. "I don't think I've ever seen you sleep this long; you usually wake up at the asscrack of dawn," he told his friend as he opened his pants drawer in his dresser.

"I do not," Tyler scoffed and when Josh shot him a look he smiled a bit. "Okay maybe I do. I just like getting up early, okay?"

"Okay," Josh nodded, shutting his drawer. He finished putting away his two t-shirts and walked over to the bed, sitting down in front of Tyler. Jim came over and rested his head in Josh's lap. "Ty, do you remember what happened last night?" He asked much more seriously.

Tyler thought hard for a moment and he was about to respond with 'no' before he quickly remembered him sitting on the floor with his friends, everyone laughing their asses off. He then remembered what he said. "Oh," he looked up at Josh. "About me being..." he trailed off.

"Gay?" Josh asked, making Tyler wince at the word. "Hey, no don't do that," he told him. "Dude it's okay. I don't think any less of you."

"I just," Tyler sighed. "Fuck," he rubbed his face. "I don't know. I don't know if I'm gay or just not attracted to Jenna. Either way I'm hurting her feelings. I didn't really ever like any specific girls throughout school but I assumed it was just because I wasn't in the mood to develop a crush. I had other things to worry about. And Jenna's a really good girl and I love her a lot but like I said last night I didn't feel anything when we kissed. Nothing romantic at least."

"Well," Josh began, taking a heavy breath. "Are there any guys you like?" He asked.

Fuck, Tyler thought.

"Not really," Tyler looked down. "I kind of just started finding guys I'd see cute and then I thought about it the other night and everything just slowly started to click," he lied.

The truth was, Tyler went home the morning before earlier so Josh wouldn't catch him when he woke up. He then proceeded to sit in his room and cry and have a slight breakdown because this had never occurred to him before. He keeps saying it was the other night but was just the day before. The cause of it was that he found out he had a big ass gay crush on his straight best friend of nine years. That's enough to shake anyone up.

"That's okay," Josh nodded. Tyler was still looking down, feeling tears prick his eyes. "Hey, look at me," Josh told him soft. Tyler obeyed and stared into his warm brown eyes with his own sad ones. "I still love you so much, Tyler. Nothing has changed. You're still my best friend, okay? I don't think any different of you and I just want you to know that."

"Okay," Tyler nodded and wiped his eyes. "Thank you."

"Of course," Josh pulled him in for a hug.

Tyler had to refrain from crying harder because Josh would never know his exact struggles. He didn't have a thing for his best friend.