glory days ↣ joshler ✓

32. Kiss

Josh sat on Hayley's bed, a blanket wrapped around him since he was drenched in rain water. Dried tear tracks covered his face as he sat there, blank look on his face. Despite it being in the low eighties he was shivering since his clothes were soaked and Hayley didn't have any that would fit him.

"Okay," Hayley began as she walked into her room, carrying a mug. "I found a pack of hot chocolate so here," she gave it to him.

"Thanks," Josh replied in a strained voice.

Hayley just nodded before sitting down on her bed in front of Josh, crossing her legs in a pretzel formation. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I think if I start talking about it I'll cry again," Josh admitted.

"Why's that?" She asked softly, taking the hand that didn't hold the coffee mug.

"I'm so scared and confused," he took a deep breath. "I've never liked a boy before. Ever. And you're not supposed to like your best friend. It ruins everything."

"Josh, your partner is supposed to be your best friend. You're just doing things a little backwards."

"We haven't done anything. I just realized I liked him last night and it hit me like a truck. Besides if we do start dating what does that make me? I still like girls."

"It doesn't have to make you anything," Hayley told him. "Just because Ashley likes boys and girls and identified as bisexual doesn't mean you have to. You don't have to be pan either. You can just be Josh. You can like Tyler— a boy —and other girls without having to stick a title on yourself. That's okay. You don't have to have this figured out in one night."

"I need to figure out how I feel about Tyler though," Josh explained. "He's leaving soon. I don't want him to leave and then never confess or end up telling him over a FaceTime call. That's shitty."

"Well... then I would tell him you like him," she replied, playing with his fingers.

"What if it ruins everything?"

"He found out Jenna liked him and gave her a chance and even if he was straight it wouldn't change anything. He still loves you regardless."

"What if he doesn't like me like that though? What if he doesn't give me a chance like he did Jenna?"

"No offense," Hayley looked at him. "But you're a dumbass."

"What? Why?"

"Josh, Tyler is so in love with you. He practically has heart eyes every time he looks at you. I'm surprised it took you both this long to realize this shit. I've known you guys since sixth grade and I've always had a feeling about you two. Maybe it's my gaydar or maybe it's just because I knew. We all knew we just weren't going to seriously say anything about it. That was for you two to figure out."

Josh let that sink in. Was it really that obvious? "I just... fuck I'm so scared. Even if we do get together wouldn't it complicate everything?"

"No I don't think it would. I think it would make you guys whole. Besides now he can move in with you," she joked.

Josh cracked a smile and could see the look of happiness on Hayley's face now that he seemed to relax a bit. "I don't know..." he sighed, the smile fading.

"I think you should tell him. That's my advice. If you don't want to I won't make you but you and him would both feel a lot better if you figured it out."

Josh pondered that for a moment. She was right. He hated it when she was right but nonetheless she was still right. "Okay," he nodded. "When should I tell him?"