Chapter 47

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The next day was literal Hell on Earth.

When I arrived home the day after the sleepover at Jake's, Bella was there and all too willing to divulge who'd been killed and injured. She wanted to tell me everything, probably in hopes that I would have a mental breakdown or something.

"Babe, you'll have to face it eventually, and if you just do it now, you will be able to ease back into social media," Jake said.

"No you won't," Bella snapped. "Everyone's saying it's all your fault, and I mean, if you had just agreed to one date."

"Bella, get the hell out and don't ever come back. Leave town, whatever. Do whatever the fuck you want, but you will leave Allie alone. Am I understood?" Dad snapped.

"Yeah, of course. I'm sorry," Bella said.

"No you aren't," Jake said.

"Doesn't matter. Band-Aids don't fix bullet holes," I replied.

She took off out the door, tearing out of the parking lot in her nice new car that she had gotten after the wedding. Such a golddigger.

"Do you want to hear the list now or later?" Dad asked softly.

"Now, while my heart's already shattered," I said.

Jake lovingly wrapped his arms around me and held me as Dad began to read down the list. Each name was followed by either the word killed or the word injured. Then, Dad would pause for a few seconds, allowing me to recall each person's face, giving me just enough time to feel sorry for them before the next name was read off.

I knew each and every one of the names on the list. I knew more than one thing about each person, whether it be their favorite sport or how good they were at art. I could give a fairly accurate description of each face that passed before my closed eyes.

With every name, more tears fell down my cheeks, but I didn't bother to wipe them away. It wouldn't have mattered anyways. I would have just sobbed more if I had wiped my cheeks.

"And, Scott Adams, killed," Dad said from his seat in the recliner. He sat the paper down and moved so he was on the other side of me.

Thirteen names in total.

"Thirteen people were shot by Scott because I wouldn't go on a date with him," I sobbed. Dad wrapped his arms around me as well, so he and Jake were simultaneously holding me and trying to support me.

"This isn't your fault. No one will ever blame you," Jake said.

"One date. Bella's right. It would've only taken one date and those thirteen innocent souls would still be alive," I said.

"Allie, you can not take this blame on yourself. It isn't your fault. There's no way you could've known," Dad said.

"I should've noticed," I said. "I could've done something."

"There's nothing anyone can do to change it now babe," Jake said. I could tell this was hurting him as much as it was hurting me, but I couldn't for the life of me push my feelings away.

"You saved the lives of so many people by developing that program," Dad said, softening his voice in attempt to calm me down.

"You're so amazing Allie. You'll save more lives than he took. I promise you that babe," Jake said. I forced myself to calm down as the only two people in my life who mattered held me, trying to keep my world together when it was crumbling beneath me.

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