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Z I O N

fuck.

i fell too fucking hard for her. what if she just told me she likes me to make me feel better? what if she just completely lied to me, and only sees us as friends? i fucking live with her too, so no matter how hard to try not to see her, imma see her. where the hell is edwin? i need him.

i go to his room, and see him laying on his bed shirtless. i sigh and sit down at his desk.

"what?" he asks.

"i need to get laid." i reply.

he laughs, "what?"

"bro, i need to."

"you think fucking some other random girl will help you get over kimberly?"

"what else is supposed to help? just deal with it? i cant."

"find someone else, not to just fuck them. actually get to know them." he says.

i groan, "thats not gonna work, i like the way kim thinks, what she says. no other girl is like her."

"z, you in this too deep. look, tiff and i love each other but we ain't together no more."

"how? but the thing is, i fucking live with her eddy. you and tiff dont. i have to see her everyday day, but i cant be with her. that fucking hurts, because i love her bro."

"make yourself busy then. find something to do out of the house." edwin says as he gets up.

"but then im gonna miss not seeing her all the time." i say.

he grabs a shirt from his dresser and puts it on, "then i dunno how to help. you're too stubborn."

i suck on my teeth, "you no help." i get up and leave his room. shit. i should have never told her how i feel. i shouldn't have kissed back, but i wanted too. i really fucking wanted too. we were so close too, just to have her in my arms with her lips on mine- made me go crazy.

i fell too hard.

Last Night

"we cant try. it won't hurt to try."

i hear a soft sigh escape her mouth, "and if it doesn't work and something happens, what will happen to us? we never speak again? id rather stay friends with you than never speak to you."

"alright look," i start, "i came here because brandon told me where you were. he said that you were at this guys party and i knew that you like him. but i needa know, do you like him like you like me?"

"no." was all she said.

"okay. i told him that i wanted to leave because, kimberly, im telling you this now, i hate to see you with any other guy. and after what happened earlier, it made me go crazy. brandon said he's coming too because he's dealing with some shit with char, so then we all decided to just leave. this is how i think, alright? we stay as friends, but i don't like seeing you with another guy. i dont like when you talk about how hot another guy is, even if its fuckin' zac efron cause that shit aint good." i hear her give out a quiet laugh. "and if we're together then, i know you're mine. no one elses."

"stop fucking making this hard on me. now im telling you, i want to be with you too. so fucking bad-"

"then lets be together."

"zion, we argue every fuckin day. i know one day its gonna get bad and we're not gonna be the same anymore. i dont want that. look, today was haley being related to you, yesterday i don't even remember. a few days ago was bringing up my ex. like everyday it's something."

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