Unsteady

16. Not About Angels

How unfair, it's just our love
Found something real that's out of touch
But if you'd searched the whole wide world
Would you dare to let it go?
'Cause what about, what about angels?
They will come, they will go, make us special
Don't give me up
-Not about angels
-Birdy

•••••

I sighed and slowly turned around, taking time to take in the pair of sweats which hung low at his hips and the way his plump lips were turned down in a frown.

Well, this is it. This is the moment you've been waiting for.

I took a deep breath and sifted through the many options I had thought up. I decided to leave it up to him to decide what he wanted.

"What about it?" I asked, defensively crossing my arms over my chest.

Ryder's grey eyes widened, not expecting me to ask him about it.

"Well it happened..." he trailed off.

No shit

"Yes, I know," I stated.

There was an awkward silence filled with our slow breaths. Ryder stared awkwardly at the floor, trying extremely hard not to look at me.

"Now what?" Ryder mumbled.

Well here goes nothing.

"Ryder, what do you feel towards me?" I asked, staring directly at him.

Ryder looked up, startled that I was asking him about his emotions without giving him and idea of what mine were.

"Well..." he trailed off, still speechless.

I stared at him, waiting for an answer.

On the outside I looked perfectly calm and like I had my shit together, but on the inside I was going completely ballistic. I didn't know what his response was going to be, and quite frankly I was scared.

Did I like Ryder?

Maybe.

Did he like me?

Probably not.

There were many unresolved questions running through my mind, but the one that was sounding off like a police siren was, "why did he kiss me?"

You don't just go around kissing random people, you have to have some sort of reason for doing it. My heart had picked up its speed and I bit my lip to hold back my yell of frustration when Ryder had still not answered me.

"Riley," he began, taking a deep breath.

In that instant second, by the pitiful tone he had taken up, I knew where this was going. I could predict his next words and honestly, what did I expect?