Unsteady

32. Hopeless

'Cause you know the truth hurts
But secrets kill
Can't help thinkin' that I love it still
Still here, there must be something real
'Cause you know the good die young
But so did this
And so it must be better than I think it is
Gimme those eyes, it's easy to forgive
-Hopeless
-Halsey
-Cashmere Cat

•••••

I sighed as I dropped my bag onto the couch, finally school was over and all I had to do was wait for my report which would be mailed to me by the school.

My shoulder was almost fully healed, and I was grateful because it would have been a very uncomfortable situation to dress up fancy and plaster on a fake smile for graduation which was in three weeks.

Three weeks seemed like a long time, but if I've learnt anything from my experience in Grey's Town, it would be that time seemed to speed up in this tiny town.

The last couple days of school have been tough, with Ryder avoiding me and making no effort to even try to greet me. My life had lately become extremely monotonous, I was repeating the same cycle everyday.

Get up, go to school, eat, breathe and sleep. If I wasn't going to school I either stared blankly at the television screen or locked myself in my room and lost myself in my thoughts.

These thoughts were often about Ryder, about us, and that usually ended up in me crying. I knew I needed to give myself time, but just how much? I didn't know if I could take the dull ache in my heart, which had become a norm, anymore.

I shook my head as I opened up the fridge and frowned once I saw I was out of milk.

Great.

I groaned and contemplated living without milk for the next few days. The thing is, I wouldn't have minded if I hadn't gotten my period that day and wasn't craving cereal. I sighed as I made my way to my room to change out of my comfy clothes and into something more appropriate.

When I got into my room I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My red, swollen eyes weren't fading and neither were the bags under my eyes, anytime soon. I had on a plain white shirt and checkered pyjama bottoms.

I tilted my head to the side and studied my pants, at first glance they just looked like ordinary pants with a black and dark green checkered pattern. I shrugged and tied my hair into a high ponytail while grabbing a sweater from my cupboard and making my way out of my apartment to the store.

It wasn't like I had anyone to impress anyways, I thought as I made my way to the supermarket.

It felt good as a cool breeze blew, gently ruffling the ends of my ponytail and nipping at my nose. I needed a breath of fresh air, it was a good change compared to my usual stuffy room. I passed colourful apartment blocks as I continued down the pavement, watching as an elderly couple walked past me smiling in greeting.

I returned their smiles and found that even that small gesture, just one tiny smile, seemed to brighten my mood by a lot.