Heartache »Ashton Irwin«

Chapter 9- Kicked Out

I woke up the next morning, by the alarm, and I felt a headache and a lot of guilt. I turned of the alarm and I heard how Ashton made a tired sound. ”I need to go to work” I mumbled. ”Five more minutes?” Ashton pulled me into his arms. I had a strong feeling of guilt because of what happened last night. I called Ashton because I felt lonely and needed company. I called him and he showed up. I wish he didn’t. I knew I would feel this because I used Ashton’s sweetness to comfort me. I used him. Ashton helped me to forget Nathan and I’m very grateful, but I need to find a recover in myself and not rely on other people. ”No...” I stood up. ”You need to leave” I continued. Ashton opened his eyes. ”I’m sorry about last night. It won’t happen again. I was lonely and needed company. I had to much to drink and... I’m sorry” Ashton nodded as he stood up from bed. I followed him out to the hall. ”I had a great time last night” Ashton said as he took his shoes on. ”I know you did too. I’m sorry about Nathan, and your heartbreak” I smiled at him. ”Thank you, I’m glad you made me forget, but I need to forget him, without help from others” I explained. ”I understand. See you around” ”Yeah, bye!” ”Bye!” I waved Ashton and he left my apartment. I locked the door and slid down, with my back leaning against the door and sat down at the floor. I put my head in my hands. Why did I invite Ashton last night? All I feel is guilt. He was so sweet to me, he listen and cared but what do I give in return? I kicked him out, early in the morning. I guess the gossip magazine was right. I was a gold digger. Not their version of one, but I did use him.  

After my little break down and a necessary shower I felt like I was back on track. I appeared at my work at least. ”Apple?” Tom, my boss, stopped me, just before I walked into my office. ”Yes?” I turned around with a smile. ”Can I talk to you, in my office?” He asked. ”Absolutely, give me one minute” I said. He smiled at me before he walked into his office, right beside mine. What will he talk about? He seemed to be serious. I hope it’s about work and not anything personal. I can’t take anymore personal stuff. I’m pretty sure I have enough issues. After a few deep breaths and nervous thinking about what he wants to tell me, I went to his office. I knocked on the opened door, before I walked in. ”Hi!” I said. ”Hi Apple! Have a seat” Tom said and I sat down at a chair, in front of his big, brown desk. ”You have been late a few mornings this month...” Tom began. I nodded. How will I put this? I was out partying and followed a guy home and I over slept? ”I’m sorry...” I said. ”You are new here, but I hope you know the impact of late arrivals?” ”No...” I shook my head. ”But I can work over time. I can work later at the afternoon, to make up for my late mornings” I said. It’s better to be at work then home alone with my mind. ”We can start with that. I won’t fire you today, but I suggest you look for another job” My jaw dropped. He is not firing me today? Does that mean he will do it later? ”I’m sorry, what?” I asked. Why don’t he just fire me immediately? ”I’m sorry Apple, but I need to see what’s best for my business” I was disappointed, in myself. How could I let my personal issues become the reason I, most likely get fired? I need to step it up. ”I promise I can change. I’ve had some hard weeks but-” ”I know, I just want to clear it out, and make you prepared. I’ve sent you job applications”  They say life is like a roller coaster, and it sure is, I just wish mine had some more uphills. 

Later that afternoon I walked home with ten job applications that I would spend my night looking at. After my meeting with Tom I went to the bathroom and I ended up crying. All I ever do is cry, but after a while I began to think that this was a good opportunity. I like the job I have now, I just don’t want to work with it in the future. But I haven’t gone to college since I have no idea what I want to become when I get ‘older’ but I guess it’s time to decide that soon. I walked down to get a coffee before I headed to my apartment. ”Apple?!” All of a sudden I felt a strong flash in my face and someone screaming my name. ”Apple, are you and Ashton an item?” Another flash. ”Are you two together?” ”How do you feel about his fans?” ”Apple look here” More questions and more flashing in my face. What the hell was this about? At first I thought it was a lame joke, but then I realised that Ashton is a part of ’5 Seconds of Summer’. It was paparazzi. They wanted to get a reaction of me, they wanted answers. I put my hand above my forehead and began to walk faster. So after two nights with Ashton, I’m in the tabloids and paparazzi is following me? It was sick how fast people could find out things. When I finally came home I logged in to my computer and to Twitter. I’m definitely not a big tweeter, but I wanted to see what people weren’t saying about me. ‘Ashton and Apple’ I search for in the search bar. Pictures from us walking out from the club the other day showed up and also a bunch of tweets. ”She looks like a gold digger” ”Apple? Is she a fruit or something?” ”I bet she likes Ashton’s banana and oranges #IfYouKnowWhatIMean” ”Her dress is to short and she has way to much make up on. I thought Ashton liked natural girls #JustSaying” ”I love her dress, but hate her. ASHTON IS MINE” ”She doesn’t deserve Ashton” ”She is only using him” ”I think they look cute together and #Appton is the cutest couple-name ever” ”Ashton need to open his eyes, she only uses him.” ”Gold digger” ”Ashton is mine” ”Apple you’re holding my whole world in your hands. Take care of him” ”Don’t she dare to break his heart” Most of the comments that wrote out me was mean and it hurt. People were judging me, people I didn’t even know. People who don’t now my story. I find it hard to take criticism from people I know of, I hate being judge when I’m just being myself or trying my best. And now, all of the sudden, I get judge and criticised by people who don’t even know me. People that have nothing better to do than to hate on people. All I ever wanted to be was ‘good enough‘, especially good enough for Nathan. But apparently I wasn’t, I wasn’t either good enough for Ashton. I was heartbroken, I’ve almost lost my job, I use a boy I just met, for comfort and he helped me, I got paparazzi following me around and I get hate from people I don’t even know. I feel more weak today, than I’ve ever felt.