Heartache »Ashton Irwin«

Chapter 43- I'm All Yours

 I woke up the next morning, around eight, which was really early since I probably fell asleep way after midnight. Ashton slept beside me on the couch and I spotted Luke on the floor in front of me. I yawned and sat up. Last night was strange. Everything just seemed like a mess, but in the middle I had a good time. I stood up and walked into the kitchen. On the way I saw two guys sleeping in the hall. I shook my head as I rolled my eyes. I took a glass of water to ‘heal’ my hungover. I didn’t drink so much last night, but I still didn’t feel good today. ”Good morning” I turned around and saw Calum, only in his boxers. I quickly looked away, blushing. ”Morning” I mumbled. ”Everything’s okay?” ”It’s fine” I said as I drank the last of the water. ”Great! How’s the hungover?” ”I didn’t drink that much” I explained. ”Oh, right” I nodded for myself. This was awkward. I put the empty glass in the sink and began to walk back to the living room. ”Thanks for the pillow, by the way” Calum said, which made me turn around and look at him, keeping my eyes in his. ”Your welcome. Since you travel a lot, I thought that it would be a good idea” ”Yes, right! The pillow case is very funny” ”Yeah” I scratched my head uncomfortable before I turned around. I sat down at the couch, beside Ashton. I wanted to go home, just to freshen up, but I wanted to tell Ashton before I leave and he was still asleep. ”Ashton” I mumbled. Nothing happened. ”Ashton,” I said once again. Nothing. Maybe I just could leave him a note? Or tell Calum? ”Ashton?” I tried once again and he actually began to open his eyes, slowly. ”Mhm..?” He mumbled as he blinked a few times. He looked up at me, with tired eyes. ”Morning” I mumbled. ”Sorry, for waking you, but I really need to go home” I said. Ashton sat up and nodded. He looked tired. ”I can’t drive, I surly had too much to drink last night” ”Yeah” I agreed. ”I just wanted to say that I was about to leave” I said and Ashton nodded as he screeched his head. ”I don’t know where to begin” He mumbled as he looked at me, sorrow in his eyes. ”I was a totally jerk. Forgive me?” ”You were drunk, I get it” ”That’s not an excuse, and I’m sorry for leaving you” ”It’s okay...” ”You keep saying everything is okay, when I know it isn’t. Why can’t you tell me what is going on?” He asked. I looked down at my lap. Should I tell him about London? Now? Is this the perfect moment? ”A few months ago, just a month before I met you” I began. This is going to be another white lie... ”I made myself a promise.” ”What promise?” Ashton asked. ”To stay single for a year, and just focus on myself. Clearly I couldn’t keep that promise, even if I want to” ”What do you mean?” Ashton filled in. ”I’m still not completely over Nathan, he was a big part of my life and it’s not like I have forgotten about him...” ”I don’t get it!” Ashton pointed out. ”Last night you told me you were in love with me and you can’t love me, Ashton. Please don’t fall in love with me. I can’t go through another heartbreak and feel more heartache. I’m not emotionally ready for this” I looked up at Ashton as I finished. This was kind of true, but not the whole story. ”I would never hurt you, Apple” ”I know, but it has nothing to do with you. It’s all personal” ”Are you breaking up with me?” Ashton asked. He looked confused at the same time as heartbroken. I shook my head. ”No, I’m just saying...” This is getting way out of line. Why can’t I just tell him about London? ”No, I’m just saying that I’m not ready for a relationship” ”Okay?” He mumbled, still looking confused. ”How do you want to do this?” He continued. ”I don’t know...” ”Before this, us, really happened, when I left for tour, I missed you like crazy, so I don’t think I can stay away” I smiled for myself as Ashton spoke. ”Give me one weekend. Give me one weekend to show you how much you mean to me and that I will never hurt you. One weekend where we leave all of our concern at home” After our weekend could possible be the right time to tell him about London. Maybe he is right, I need to leave all the concern at home and go away for a weekend. ”What do you think? I know you have been through a lot, but I want to show you how I feel about you” Ashton smiled at me and his smile is literally hypnotising. He did puppy eyes which made me laugh. ”Okay” I answered. ”I have work for two weeks a head, but after that I’m all yours” ”That’s over Valentine’s right?” I asked. ”I believe so, yes!” Ashton answered with a smirk and I nodded. ”Does that mean I’m your valentine?” He continued and I smiled. Ashton always finds a way for me to smile. Something I really admire by him. ”I’m all yours” I quoted Ashton and he smiled widely. 

Where the hell was my phone? Did I loose it last night? ”I just called a cab for you” Ashton showed up and I nodded thankfully. ”Thank you! My phone is missing, have you seen it?” I asked. ”No, sorry” I nodded and began to look again. I looked in the living room, bathroom and kitchen but couldn’t find it. I sighed loudly. I began to go through the night, but can’t remember where I must’ve lost it. Did someone steal it?  ”I help you look for it, but the cab is here” ”Oh, okay. I would say give me a call if you find it...” Ashton laughed and I did the same. ”I let you know in somehow if I find it. Maybe send a pigeon” Ashton said and I smiled as I put my shoes on. I stood up and looked at Ashton. ”As I said I have a lot going on at the moment” ”It’s alright, I get it” ”But let me take you out over Valentine’s” ”Of course” I said. I hugged Ashton good bye and kissed him before I left. The cab was outside and I told him my address and he began to drive. Since Ashton has a lot of work going on, it basically means I won’t be able to see him that much and then there is valentine’s day and only three weeks until I leave for London. I need to tell him right after this weekend. No matter what happens, he deserves to know. 

 I looked through my notifications on Twitter. A lot of people had seen me attending Calum’s birthday party together with Ashton last night. A few comments were nice but mostly kind of mean. I try not to read all the comments, but I do. It’s like a strange addiction. I want to see what people think of me, even if I hate to see it. I shook my head and looked through the news feed instead. I didn’t follow many people. It was just last month that I began to follow Ashton. I follow a few of Ashton fans, because they wanted me to follow them, I follow Ed Sheeran and other people. Nothing really happens, it’s just a way to kill time. ”That tweet is definitely about Apple #Appton” What tweet? I pressed the ‘Appton’ hashtag just to see what was going on. I think our couple name is cute. At first it was a little annoying since we wasn’t together when it started but now I like it. ”I still think she will break his heart #Appton” ”He is in love with her, but he deserves better #Appton” ”I want to be Ashton’s too #Appton” ”Ashton’s tweet says it all; #Appton is real” Ashton’s tweet? What did he tweet? I went to his page and looked at his last post. At first I was a little scared of what he might have shared but then when I saw what he had written I smiled widely. ” I’m all yours” 

I hope you like the chapter, thank you for reading :) 

Xx