Heartache »Ashton Irwin«

Chapter 48- What Happened To You And I?

”I’ll be right there” Was his replied, but he didn’t show up until an hour later, and it only take half an hour to drive here. During this hour I was in a bubble. Now is the time. The perfect time is right in front of me. It’s literally now or never. I asked him over. I wiped away all the tears but I knew I would start crying again when Ashton show up. I heard the doorbell and I opened immediately. ”Baby!” He said with a worried smile as he hugged me tight. The hug meant the world to me. I can’t believe I’m moving away from his comfortable arms.   I started to think about how much I will miss Ashton and I began to cry. ”Sorry it took so long” He whispered in my ear. ”It’s fine” I mumbled, even if it wasn’t. ”Please stop crying, honey” Ashton laid his hands over my cheeks. ”I love you and I want you to stop crying. Can you do that for me?” He continued as he wiped away my tears, but his words only led to more tears. He loves me... This time he didn’t think I was asleep and he wasn’t drunk either. This time he meant it. 

We sat down in my coach a few minutes later, after a few hugs and caring words from Ashton.  ”The reason it took so long, was because I stopped in the store. I bought you some chocolate, a magazine and tampons” Ashton explained his late arrival. ”I’m not on my period, but thanks” I said and Ashton blushed. ”Oh” He mumbled. ”It’s okay, sooner or later it will come” I said and Ashton smiled a little. ”Yeah” Ashton pulled me into his arms and kissed my head. ”So will you tell me what’s going on?” He asked. ”I will” I mumbled, even if I just wanted Ashton to sing me to sleep. It was almost nine and I was, oddly enough tired. ”I find it hard to find the words” I began. ”But I have found a song” I continued. ”A song?” Ashton said happily. ”Have you found a song you think is ours?” He asked. ”No, not really. Just a song that describes what I feel in the moment” I said and sat up, to look into Ashton’s eyes. ”Okay, show me” He sounded happy, like this was a good thing. It made my heart crash. He was so happy and clueless about what I was suppose to share with him. In just a few minutes he will be devastated. I sighed and looked down in my lap. ”You sighed” Ashton pointed out. ”Yeah, I know, it’s the song... Can you promise me something?” I asked. ”Anything” Ashton replied. ”When the song is finished, let me explain myself” ”Of course” Ashton said with a small smile. I grabbed my computer from the side table and search for the song on youtube. I picked the first video and it began to play. Ashton’s face went from happy and excited to thoughtful and confused. I sighed for myself and looked down at my lap for the entire song. I didn’t want to see how Ashton’s expression changed. It was the longest four minutes of my life. I looked up at Ashton and he looked confused but at the same time mad at me. ”I... It’s... I can’t-” I stumbled with the words, as I felt the tears burn in my eyes. ”Are you breaking up with me? Is this your way to break up with me?” Ashton said and I could hear how heartbroken he sounded. ”No, it’s-” I began but Ashton cut me off. ”No?Just tell me what the fuck is going on!?””I’m moving” I mumbled. ”You what?” He continued to scream. ”I’m moving to London” I committed. ”You are moving to London?”Ashton said and laughed sarcastic. ”I bought an apartment a few months ag-” ”A few months ago!? What the hell?” Ashton cut off as he  pulled his hands through is hair. ”When are you moving?” ”Monday” I mumbled. ”MONDAY?” He screamed. ”What? Why haven't you told me this? You are moving across the world in a week and you haven’t told me, what the hell?” Ashton stood up and looked at me. I could see how irritated he was, but it was nothing compared to the sadness that filled his eyes. He was hurt. ”Just please don’t leave” I said and stood up in front of me. ”Let me explain” I continued. ”Screw this, Apple!” Ashton began to walk to the door. ”Please, let me explain” I begged. ”You know exactly how it feels to get your heart broken, why would you do this to me? Why didn’t you tell me when you bought that damn apartment?” ”You were on tour, and I wanted to tell you face to face” Ashton shook his head. ”Fuck this!” Ashton pulled his hands through his hair once again. ”What happened to You and I?” He asked he looked at me, straight into my eyes and I could see how a few tears rolled down his cheeks. See him cry was the worst thing I have ever seen. ”I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you” I said. ”You didn’t want to hurt me? For fuck sake.” Ashton rolled his eyes before he continued. ”I never thought you would do something like this. I thought we trusted each other, I thought you could tell me anything” ”It was never the right moment to bring it up” ”So now is? A week before you leave? Just screw it” Ashton screamed. He was so angry. ”I’m sorry” I said once again. ”I want to find myself, Ashton. I want to be a better, healthier and-” ”And you think moving to London will do that for you?” ”Yes” ”No, you are wrong. Moving to London doesn’t solve anything, it just makes things worse! Fuck, you are moving to London” Ashton took his jacket. ”Now I know what if feels to get your heart broken by the person you love. Now I know what it feels to feel your heart get ripped out, stepped on, set to fire and then put back in” ”I’m so sorry, Ashton” I sobbed. This turned out to be worse than I thought. I have never seen Ashton scream or be so angry before, but neither so hurt. ”You knew about London over New Years, our first date, when I let you meet the boys, and you knew about London when we shared that amazing weekend together. Did you want to break my heart?” Ashton asked. ”Of course not,” ”Because every day I spend by your side I fell harder in love with you.” ”I didn’t want things to end like this. I’m so sorry, Ashton” ”You said at LeAnne and David’s wedding that I shouldn’t waste my time on you” Ashton opened the door, his eyes met mine. ”And I wish I didn’t” And with those words Ashton left me. 

Well this was not the way Apple thought things would turn out when she told Ashton about London...

So how do you think things will end? It's only TWO chapters left of the whole story! 

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