Heartache »Ashton Irwin«

Chapter 12- One Condition.

Ashton was asking me on a date. I had a strange feeling about this since I have told him to ‘stay away’. I have told him I need to find myself. I know I have called and asked him to join me on my lonely nights, but that’s because I feel lonely and enjoy Ashton company. I still find time for myself, it’s just when I’m alone I keep thinking of Nathan. Ashton makes me forget about him, even if it’s just for a short amount of time. I’m just not sure if I want to forget about Nathan with help from somebody. ”So what do you say?” Ashton asked with a shy smile. ”Just one condition” ”Anything” ”It’s not a date. Just two friends going out to dinner” Ashton nodded. ”Of course, but at least let me pay for the dinner” I smiled as I nodded. ”Okay, but no flowers or nothing else ‘date alike’” ”Deal” Ashton stretched his hand out before he laughed his adorable laugh. I shook his hand in agreement. ”Deal” ”I will pick you up at seven” I was about to disagree and say I could take a cab or something, since him picking me up is more similar to a real date than a friend date. ”I will pick you up and drive you home afterwards. Even if it’s just a ‘friend dinner’ I’m not gonna act like an asshole” I smiled at him. ” Okay, see you at seven then” 

The clock was quarter to seven and I stood in my underwear in my bedroom in front of my empty wardrobe. I had nothing to wear. Everything was torn out and I was desperate to find something. I had no idea where he would take me, so I didn’t know if I should dress up. Why is it so hard to find something to wear, I mean Ashton has seen me in my underwear, comfy clothes and a party dress, I don’t even think he cares. The last time I had trouble to find clothes to wear was five months ago, when me and Nathan celebrated our two years anniversary. I suddenly heard the doorbell. Is he already here? Why would he come early? I wasn’t even ready yet. I rapped my bathrobe around my body and walked to open the door. ”You are early” I said as I opened the door. Ashton laughed. ”Yeah” I looked at Ashton’s outfit. He had a black hat over his curly hair, just like he had a few days ago, black tight jeans and a white shirt. He didn’t look over dressed but he looked well dressed. ”Come in” I did a hand gesture to let Ashton come inside my mess apartment. ”Well you’ve been here before... I know it’s a mess, but feel home and give me a few minutes to get ready” I continued. ”Thank you” I left Ashton and walked into my bedroom again. I found, under a few other clothes, a black skirt with ruffles, that reach to the middle of my thigh. I put it on, together with a simple white shirt tucked, since the skirt was high in the waist. It was a simple, but cute outfit. Together with this I had a black blazer and white high heels. I did my make up quickly and put my hair in a donut- bun. Ashton sat in my couch when I walked into the living room. ”You look stunning” Ashton said and I smiled a shy smile at him. ”Thank you. Shall we go?” I asked. ”Okay” Ashton stood up and after I locked my apartment we walked down to his car. Ashton opened the car door for me and I smiled at him. ”Thank you” I was nervous for this night. I even shaved my legs for this (it’s not like I have a routine for it). Ashton is the first guy I have gone on a date with since Nathan. Even if it’s just as friends it’s a date, and so far Ashton has been a gentleman. ”So where are you taking me?” I asked. ”It’s a restaurant, about a half an hour away. They have great food” ”Okay, great” I nodded. ”Are you nervous?” Ashton asked as a smile appeared on his lips. ”Me? What? No” I said as Ashton laughed loud. ”Okay, a little. This is the first date I’ve been to since Nathan” I explained. ”I don’t date either... so nothing to worry about” Ashton did a slight shrug and I could feel the tension between us grow. ”Okay, thank you and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t mention Nathan” ”It’s okay, he has been a big part of your life and he broke your heart. As you said it’s hard to forget” ”Have you been heartbroken?” ”No, not over a girl. But when my hamster died I was heartbroken. I was around five” I smiled at Ashton and my thoughts began to think of my dog. Calvin. ”My dog died when I was five too, so I can relate to that kind of heartbreak” ”You had a dog?” ”Yes, Calvin, he was a golden retriever and he was my best friend” ”Aw, well you got over him, right?” ”I did, and I will get over Nathan too. After these four gym- pass he will be long gone” ”That’s the right attitude” Ashton said as he laughed and I laughed with him. ”Do you mind listening to the radio?” Ashton asked. ”No, not at all. I love music” I answered. ”You do?” Ashton pushed play and ‘Rather Be’ with Clean Bandit was played. ”Well, I like music that has a story...” And those types of songs usually reminds me of Nathan. ”Yeah same, I listen a lot to Green Day” ”I like them, even though it’s not my type of music” ”I see, so what are you listening to?” ”Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran, often people who write their own music” ”Yeah” Ashton said before a smile appeared on his lips. ”This is our song ‘She Looks So Perfect’” He said as he drummed with his hands on the steering wheel. I smiled as I nodded. ”Simmer down, simmer down. They say we're too young now to amount to anything else. But look around. We work too damn hard for this just to give it up now. If you don't swim, you'll drown. But don't move, honey” Ashton hummed with the song and I smiled at him. If I did know the lyrics I would do the same.

Ashton parked the car outside of a restaurant about twenty five minutes later. He quickly ran out to open the door for me.  I smiled at him. Ashton did this sweet gesture that made my heart melt. It was cute and I really appreciated it. Ashton wrapped his arm around my waist and I froze a little. ”Relax” Ashton whispered in my ear. I hope he realise we are here as friends, even if he does these sweet gestures. I hope Ashton realise I won’t change my mind about this. I need to find myself before I find someone else. Ashton opened the door for me, and right away a waitress approached us. ”Hi” She said with a smile. ”I’ve made a reservation” ”Okay, and your name sir?” ”Ashton Irwin” ”Okay, this way, please” The waitress lead us to a table for two. The table was decorated with red roses and candles. It was very beautiful. I wonder if Ashton had done this or if every table is decorated like this. Anyway it was beautiful.  Ashton pulled out the chair for me and I smiled thankfully at him. ”Thank you” ”Here is the menu, I’ll be right back to take your orders” The waitress left us with a red menu in front of us. ”I’m so hungry” I said as I opened the menu. ”Yeah, same. I just had a salad for lunch. I’m starving” Everything on the menu was tempting. ”What have you done today, more than grocery shopping?” Ashton asked. ”Nothing really. I’ve talked to my mom, watched TV, read some pointless gossip. Nothing special” I answered. ”And what about you?” ”I’ve had rehearsal. We have an upcoming tour” ”That seems fun. When does it start?” ”In two weeks. It’s kind of a christmas tour, around Australia” ”Nice!” ”It’s very fun, I’m exhausted but it‘s worth it” I nodded. I would love to go around the world and perform and make a name for myself, well If I had a singing voice of course. The waitress came back a few minutes later with a pad and a pen in her hands. ”Can I take your orders?” She asked. ”Yeah. I’ll take Chateau Briand” Ashton said with a smile to the waitress. ”Okay” The waitress wrote it done before she looked at me. ”I’ll take Chicken Kiev please” I said. ”And drinks?” ”Just water for me” ”For me too” ”Okay, with a slice of lemon?” ”Yes, please” We both said. The waitress left us with a smile. ”Have you been here before?” I asked. ”Yeah, once before, but today I have better company” I smiled at Ashton and he smiled back. His smile is very sweet and welcoming. It feels like I have a lot to talk to Ashton about, I just don’t know if it is the right time to bring it up. The paparazzi, the hate through both Twitter and magazines... I don’t know if I can keep it inside of me any longer though. ”What are you thinking about?” Ashton asked. ”I’m... I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring it up” I answered. It was better to talk about this in private and not in a fancy restaurant like this. ”I see that it’s bothers you, please tell me” ”It’s not a big deal, we can talk about it another day” ”Apple, please tell me, let me help you” I looked down at my lap as I took a deep breath. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to talk about this? I think it’s because I don’t want to loose Ashton because of the comments. What if he believes them? I can’t afford to loose him too, I can’t afford to loose a friend too. I would fall into pieces. I know we recently met, but Ashton is my friend, my loyal, beautiful eyed, adorable laughing friend.  

Do you think Apple will tell Ashton about the hate?? 

Xx