”Hi, it’s Apple again... I’m so sorry, can you please just answer one of my calls? I’m sorry for everything, please call me”
”Hey, it’s me, for the hundred time, but I want you to understand why I do this. I move because I want to find myself. It isn’t about you, or LeAnne or Nathan. I move because I want to be stronger in myself. I hope you understand. I’m so sorry”
”Hi, it’s Apple here again. I don’t know where to begin, but please just answer. I’m so sorry. ”
”Hi, I’m calling again, you are probably so tired of all your voicemails but I want to tell you how sorry I am. I never thought things would get so tangled. I was planning on telling you on our first date, but I didn’t want to ruin it. We had such a great time, remember? Then some other stuff came in the way and I guess I was afraid to tell you, because I don’t want to loose you, Ashton, please just pick up...”
”Yes, It’s Apple, again. I hope you have a good day? Mine has been okay, I guess. I miss talking to you and I’m so sorry for not telling you, please forgive me? Love from Apple”
”Apple, here again. Just return one call, please Ashton! It’s killing me not talking to you.”
”I’m calling again, what a surprise! It’s starts to feel like I’m talking to a wall, because you don’t answer, but I understand. I would appreciate a life sign from you though. I know you are hurt and it was never my intention to hurt you, Ashton. You mean the world to me, and you have helped me recover from Nathan. You have never turned me down once and I’m so grateful but I just want to spend some time with myself... It would be easier if you just called me so we could talk face to face.”
”Hi Ashton! It’s Apple, if you didn’t know. It’s now only two days until London and I haven’t heard one single word from you. I have stalked you on Twitter and Instagram but you haven’t posted anything. I’m sorry for everything, but please just tell me if you are okay...”
”Apple, here again! I’m truly sorry, Ashton! I keep saying I’m sorry... I just wish you knew who hurt I am because you are hurt. I wish you knew that this hurts me too, but it’s my fault so I keep saying how sorry I am. Xoxo gossip girl, no haha, I’m juts kidding, sorry, what a lame joke. Xoxo Apple”
”Apple, again! I’m sorry Ashton, I really am, I just wish you could see that this will be good for me. The reason why I didn’t tell you was because I was afraid but after these four months in London I wont be afraid. Because hopefully I know what I want to do with my life, please call me back. Your Apple”
”Yes, it’s me again. If you just pick up and let me tell you everything, so we could stay friends at least? It would kill me if we parted and didn’t talk... Please call back. ”
”Apple here! My phone bill for this month will be high, to say it least. Anyways so I’m still very sorry, please just let me know that you are alive. I don’t know if it’s something you want to know, but today I finished my last luggage. Everything is set for London. I’m excited, but I don’t want things between us to be like this, please Ashton, just answer, I beg”
”Yes, I’m calling again, but I’m worried. Can you just send me a text and say that you are alive, please? One text is all I’m asking for. I know I have probably ruined it, but it’s still You and I. I meant it when I said it. We have a special connection, Ashton, and I don’t want to loose that just because I’m moving. We can still keep in touch, even if it’s just as friends, right? Once again I’m sorry and I wish to hear from you soon. Your Apple”
I have called Ashton non stop for the last couple of days and not even one time have he answered. I understand, but I don’t want to part from him and not be friends. I want things between us to be good when I leave. I have cried a few times, but just because I’m angry with myself. I can’t be angry at Ashton, because he haven’t done anything wrong. I have broken his heart and it kills me. I just want us to be good when I leave and it’s only 36 hours left. I’m so nervous for this trip, but at the same time excited. I hate how things turned out with Ashton and I know it will be harder to leave and spend time in London if I know Ashton isn’t okay or heartbroken. I just want to see his smile one more time, hear him laugh and look into his beautiful eyes. Of course I feel my heart break too, but it’s not the same as with Nathan. I spend my time around Nathan, the two years I spend with him was just about him. Nathan, Nathan and Nathan. I want to be more me and not so hopeless in love. I want to have control over my feelings and not fall so damn hard in love. Ashton would make me fall hard in love and I’m afraid that I might loose myself, again. I don’t want to spend another month crying over the Notebook and eating Ben n’ Jerry’s, I want to be as good as I can be. It feels very egotistic and selfish to say something that I rather loose Ashton than myself, so I won’t say it, but to be honest... it’s true. I was lost and blinded by love. And I’m afraid that might happened again, if I don’t spend sometime with myself. I need to fall in love with myself first, before I fall in love with someone else. Suddenly my thoughts got interrupted by my ringtone. I literally ran towards the phone and threw myself over it. I looked at the phone screen; ‘Yourman’ is calling.
So after endless of voicemails that Apple has left, Ashton is finally calling back ;) There is only one chapter left, OMG! Haha, anyways I hope you liked this chapter
Xx
YOU ARE READING
Heartache »Ashton Irwin«
FanfictionApple Belle Lawson has been through different kinds of heartbreaks but the last one was definitely the hardest, most painful and most devastating. She was hurt, from the inside and out. She decides a move to a new city, will help her recover. She mo...
