Adopted by Harry Styles

Visiting the Past

As we approach my house from the walk home from school, Ryan is the first to say goodbye. "Hey, we'll see you later. Text us if anything goes wrong," he says.

"Will do," I say. "Thanks for dealing with me today. I was kinda a mess." I am really thankful none of my friends believe the rumors. Honestly, I feel like I don't even deserve my friends; they're too nice to me.

Anyway, I walk inside and see a note on the counter. I pick it up and read it:

'Ellie,
I went to a meeting with the boys. I'll be home around 4:00.
Love,
Dad

I put the note back down on the counter and head up to my room. I shut my door and take off my shirt, standing sideways in front of my mirror. I feel and look so fat, but I am so hungry. I throw my shirt back on and sit on my bed with my phone.

About fifteen minutes pass before I give up. I needed food. I grab my lunch from out of my backpack and begin to eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Harry made me. After I quickly finish that, I eat an apple and a granola bar. I have to admit, my body liked being fed more than 400 calories in one day. My mind, on the other hand, not so much.

*trigger warning*

I immediately regret eating so much, but I just couldn't help it. I stand up in front of my mirror again and take off my shirt. I look even fatter than before. Tears well up in my eyes and I run to my bathroom.

I open my medicine cabinet and take out the blade. I hated to do this again, especially the night before my date with Kyle, but I couldn't help it. I decide to cut the side of my thigh, so I could still wear short sleeves. I press the metal against my leg and let out a whimper as I see red liquid form on my skin. I make six cuts before standing up and wiping my blade off. I grab some toilet paper and dry the blood before putting my shorts back on.

I walk back to my bed and lie down, making sure my injured leg was facing up. My soft cries turn into a heavy sob and that was the last thing I remember before falling asleep.

I slowly wake up and grab my phone from the other side of my bed to check the time. 5:20. Harry must be home. I get out of bed and walk downstairs to find Harry in front of the tv watching the news, as usual. I sit down next to him and wrap the blanket that was on the couch around my cold body.

"Hey there, love. How was your nap? I was going to wake you, but you looked too comfortable," Harry says and wraps an arm around me, pulling me into his side.

"It was good. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night, so I was pretty tired after school today," I tell him.

Harry nods. "Anything wrong? Or just one of those nights?" He asks, concerned.

"Oh, no," I lie. "Just one of those nights."

We sit in comfortable silence and watch the news for a few minutes until I speak. "Hey, Dad?" I ask.

"Yes, love," Harry responds.

"Do you think you could teach me some piano?" I ask hoping he would say yes. I haven't played piano since my mother passed away.

"Of course! Let's go," Harry says excitedly. I follow him downstairs to the basement and we enter his recording studio which has a grand piano inside.

I sit down on the bench and Harry sits next to me. "I know you told me that you used to play piano, right?" Harry asks.

I nod my head. "Yeah like seven years ago."

"Do you remember much?" Harry asks while walking over to a cabinet filled with sheet music.

"I'm not sure. It's been a long time," I admit.

"Well, why don't you see if you can remember anything before I bring out the sheet music," Harry says.

"Okay. But you can't make fun of me if I don't remember," I say with a smile. I was actually a little nervous to play. I don't think it is because Harry can hear; I think it's because I don't want to disappoint my mother. She was the one who taught me.

"I would never!" Harry gasps in a joking manny. "And you know that. I'm your father, after all," he says in a more serious tone. He moves back and sits next to me with some sheet music. "Wow me."

I giggle at his statement and nod my head. I decide to play The Scientist by Coldplay. It was my mother's favorite song. We used to play it together all the time.

I press my fingers on the keys and begin. Somehow, I manage to play, even though I haven't played in almost a decade. It just feels so natural.

When I reach the chorus, I feel tears brimming my eyes. My mother was such a wonderful woman, but this was the closest I'd ever get to her.

By the end of the song, tears are falling from my eyes and I lift my hands to wipe them away. "Hey, love," Harry says. I sniffle and he pulls me into his side. I hug him and bury my face in his chest. "Shh, it's okay."

I stay in the same position for a while. Harry eventually asks, "do you want to talk about it?" I nod my head and sit up, Harry's arm still wrapped around me. "I thought the song was beautiful, by the way."

"Thanks," I say quietly. Harry moves so he's facing me, and I follow his actions.

"Whenever you're ready, love. No rush," Harry says, soothing me by grabbing my small hands in his large ones.

"My-my Mom taught me piano. And we-we played that song a lot," I say with a sniffle. "And then, one day at school, th-these kids were being mean to me, so I-I pretended to be sick and called my mom to p-pick me up. And when she was coming a...a" I whimper and look down.

"It's okay, El. You take your time. You're doing great," Harry whispers and pushed my hair behind my ears.

"I can't tell you. You-you'd re-return me," I say, stuttering.

"No. That's not true, El. You know that. I love you too much to ever do something like that," Harry says, moving my head with his hands so I'm looking him in the eyes. "Got it?"

I notice that Harry had tears in his eyes too and I nod my head. "A car- a car hit her," I say. "And it's all my fault!" I sob. "If I didn't lie about being sick she would still be alive," I say, my face covered in tears.

"Ellie, that is not your fault, love," Harry say while giving me a hug. "You understand? I don't want you to ever think that it was your fault. You're the last person to blame."

I nod my head and wipe the tears from my eyes. I remain in Harry's lap, feeling comfort in his warm body and gentle rubs. I close my eyes, knowing I am protected by Harry.