Never Change but Never Stay the Same

Failure

Paige Pov

Normally when I am upset, crying, Taylor comes after me into my room and always tries to tell me everything will be alright.

She didn't follow me this time.

And I am glad that she didn't.

Because if she had followed me everything would just turn to worse once more.

She would try to tell me that I don't need to be super smart, that she would help me with schoolwork, that she wouldn't pressure me.

Well that is all just a lie.

Even if Taylor doesn't realize it.

...

About thirty minutes later, I get up from my bedroom floor as Taylor hasn't come to check on me yet.

I go to my bathroom and wash my face so that it doesn't appear as red.

I decide to change into a cropped navy blue champion sweater, that is almost the same color of my hair and I also put on a pair of light grey joggers.

I then crawl into my bed and just continue to cry silently.

...

Taylor Pov

I feel like I've failed as a mother.

Every aspect of it.

My daughter is upset and I know I can't make it better.

I want to run after her, and figure out this whole mess but I know that makes everything worse.

I decide to just head into the room with my pianos and guitars.

Picking up a guitar, I begin strumming and singing, "would you just tell me, would you just let me know, would you just stop breaking, I am here to help you grow."

Even with my next album being released in a couple months, and having a crazy schedule of tour planning and interviews right now, I never stop writing.

Writing is my way with coping about things. Wether it just be my nightly journal entry or a poem or a song. Writing helps me to work through things.

I continue singing with, "Baby girl won't you come to me, and tell me what's wrong. Baby girl you know I'm always here for you. Always open arms, and I've never gonna leave you."

...

It is about 8 pm at night now. I thought for sure Paige would come out of her room for food by this point of time. However, that is not the case.

I finally decide that I should just check on her. Ask if she wants me or not. Sometimes she really wants alone time, and I respect that wish as I value when I get alone time.

I have been getting a lot more after my break up with Harry prior to the tour for Red.

My friend Ellie texted me the other night and said something like she wants to set me up on this date with this guy named Calvin. She says we would be perfect for each other.

I am a little apprehensive about it. I am probably going to call her tomorrow.

I walk down the apartment hallway to Paige's room and notice that her door is slightly ajar.

Did she hear me singing in regards to her?

No lights are on in her room and I can tell that she is within her bed.

The floor board creaks underneath my foot as I step into her room trying to be quiet.

I know that if she is asleep she is still a very light sleeper. I know me waking her up would not be the best thing.