Never Change but Never Stay the Same

I Wouldn't Ever Want This Any Easier

Paige Pov

I can't fall asleep. No matter how hard I'm trying to. I have a record on my record player that is supposed to help with sleep but it is just not working.

I get frustrated at myself and through a pillow at my door along with letting out a scream.

I here Taylor's footsteps running down the hallway and when she opens my room door she says, "Paige. Are you alright?!"

"I just can't sleep and it's so annoying I'm so tired!"

"How about we watch a movie?" Taylor says still leaning in my doorway.

"Sure." I say as I'm out of ideas of making my brain shut off and go to sleep.

Taylor turns on Peter Pan, and it wasn't long before she fell asleep in my bed and I was still awake when the movie finished.

I put on Tinkerbell The Secret of the Wings, and just kept on a Disney spiral until it was about 4 am in the morning.

I carefully crawl out of the bed to make sure not to wake Taylor and I leave my room and go into the kitchen.

First making myself a cup of coffee because Taylor doesn't normally let me drink coffee, especially if I didn't sleep at night because she would want me to sleep during the day, but I have to seem at the very least okay so she doesn't become worried about me all of the sudden, it's been nice to not have to see her all that often.

After I drink a cup of coffee, the time is 4:30. I have about 3 hours til Taylor is awake and then 2 hours after that til Lindsay Cushing the therapist shows up.

How do I run away?

No you can't do that. Not to Taylor.

What to do then?

Again what about running away?

Just until after my therapist shows up doesn't seem like an awful idea. I just need to charge my phone first.

I plug my phone in and then grab my leather backpack and a sweatshirt quietly from my closet to not wake Taylor.

She is out cold and definitely has another two hours in her, but I just want to be on the safe side.

I take my backpack into the office and just put my journal and my book, Looking for Alaska, for English into my bag along with a few of my favorite pens.

I write a note on my desk that says "Taylor, I couldn't sleep, didn't want to keep trying, left to go get coffee, if I'm not back home don't come find me until after therapy, I'll text you where I am, if you text me once you read this."

I slip on my Nike sneakers, and out of the apartment slowly, making sure to take my key out of the door to lock it before leaving.

I hope Taylor won't get mad. Maybe she will understand? I can't deal with therapy.

I decide to head towards Central Park, it's not that far from here. People say New York is hard to get around but the streets are numbered so even though I don't get to walk around a lot because my mother is the highest profile female singer in this city, I know the streets quite well.

I get to Central Park which there is always people in. I take my film camera that is always in my backpack. As much as I love modeling I also love photography too, but the old kind you know. I take photos for a bit before walking towards the New York Public Library, grabbing a coffee on my way there.

I finish the coffee before getting to the library but it doesn't open for another hour, so I decide to circle back to the coffee shop until it is 9.