NAMJIN - FAMILY AFFAIRS. SEQUEL TO FAMILY MATTERS.

22.

           

Jungkook's POV:

I recently learned that you don't believe other people's words if you don't believe in them yourself.

For example:

Someone says, he really likes your way of writing or drawing or whatever. That is nice. Really. Hearing that, makes you happy and certainly a bit shy. It draws a big smile on your face, enlightens your eyes with sparkles. But, if you don't think that way, that you are good at drawing or that this one text certainly turned out good.. then those compliments fade until there is nothing left and you doubt that those people were telling you the truth.

Or, if someone says, that he or she loves you and you have that odd feeling that they are exaggerating or telling you nonsense to get on your good side, then it's most certainly, that you don't love yourself.

It's easy.

It really is.

Those people aren't lying. Why should your parents or friends lie to you?

No.

The mistake lies deep within yourself.

Because you can't accept the person you are, because you have no clue how to love yourself, and maybe because you don't know yourself.

Most of the time, my theory sucked.

Like the examples I just listed.

Most of the time, it turned something positive into negative.

But this time, I really hoped, this way of regarding things would work.

I hoped with all my heart and soul and whatever else there was.

Because if I just believed hard enough, that the things my parents were saying weren't true, they wouldn't be. At least not for my reality.

It was a Tuesday evening, and our happy coming-home- ravaging-the-fridge-for-food and rather-chatting-than-doing-homework ritual got busted by the sheer existence of Appa Joon.

It was weird.

Really.
He was just there.

Kaboom.

There.

It was Tuesday. A workday. No leave marked in our family calendar and he seemed perfectly healthy to me.

He sat there on the kitchen table, hands resting on its wooden surface, neatly folded in front of him.

His face was serious and he looked like he meant business.

In the back was Appa Jin, rummaging in the kitchen, minding his own business as if Appa Joon wasn't acting out of character at all as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. As if Appa Joon was just a ghost only I can see.

But he was there.

Real and totally not ghostly at all.

Dad was staring at the door as Jimin, Tae and I stormed into the house, laughing loudly and tackling each other in the sides, shouting nonsense while trying to continue our fight about ducks.

To be quite honest, I had absolutely no clue anymore, what we were actually fighting about. It was now only a matter of the pride to win and not give in.

As Jimin froze, and didn't pinch me back, I grew suspicious and looked in the direction he was staring at.

Appa Joon's eyes were fixated on the three of us and I started panicking.