winchester brothers imagines

d.w//i love you

A/N: I know that this is the second story in a row where I used the "I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing" line but it's such a heartbreaking scene and it makes good emotional imagines. I'm sorry lol.

"Y/N we're home!" Sam calls as he walks through the door. 

You rush towards the front door, giddy like a child.

"Dean!" You squeal jumping into his arms.

He hugs you tightly but then quickly sets you back down and walks past you and into your room with his bags. You shoot Sam a confused look and he shrugs his shoulders, heading to his own room. You walk towards your door and knock on it lightly.

"Dean? It's Y/N." You say. 

"Come in." He says.

He's unpacking his bags and putting his clothes back into the drawers, his back turned to you. You come up behind him and wrap your arms around him and he tenses slightly.

"Dean are you okay?" You ask.

"Yeah. All good." He says, still unpacking his clothes. 

You knit your eyebrows together in worry and pull away from him. You sit down on your bed and cross your legs in front of you.

"How did it go?" You ask, trying to make conversation.

"Same old, same old. Demon smashing through a town." He says monotonously. 

"Cool." You say.

This is weird. Normally you and Dean talk for hours after he gets home, catching up on each others lives that you missed out on while you were apart, spending much needed time together. You fiddle with the engagement ring around your finger, feeling awkward.

"Dean are you sure you're okay?" You say.

"Yes I'm fine, okay?" Dean snaps. 

You're taken aback by his sudden mood change.

"Okay I'm sorry." You say.

"I'll be downstairs." He says and leaves. 

Your heart hurts from the venom in his words as he's never spoken to you like that before. Especially not with the anger that he just used. You go out into the hallway and run into Sam.

"Oh hey Y/N. How was your week without us?" He asks.

"Boring. As always." You chuckle.

He laughs and starts to head downstairs and you stop him.

"Sammy?" You ask.

"What's up?" He says.

"Um, did something happen on your hunt?" You say.

"No. Why?" He asks.

"Well, Dean seems a bit off. Like something is wrong. He just snapped at me when I asked him what was wrong. He won't really talk to me and he seems--tense when I touch him. I was just wondering if something had happened and he's bothered by it." You say.

"Nothing that sticks out. Maybe he's just tired. I wouldn't worry too much, he's Dean." He says.

"I hope so." You mumble to yourself as he heads downstairs.

You follow him and Dean is sitting on the couch, a glass of alcohol in his hand. This doesn't surprise you, as he normally drinks when he gets home but what does surprise you is when you sit down next to him and he gets up, heading back to the kitchen. You look at Sam who's face is full of confusion.

"What the hell?" He mouths to you.

"I have no idea." You say back. 

Dean places his glass in the sink and heads back upstairs. When you hear the door shut, Sam turns to you.

"Okay maybe you're right. Something is wrong." He says.

"I know what I'm talking about sometimes Sammy." You say.

He chuckles lightly and sits down next to you on the couch.

"Are you sure nothing happened?" You ask.

"Nothing super crazy. Just the normal demon ganking." He says. 

You sigh heavily and Sam rests a hand on your shoulder.

"You should try to talk to him. Don't take anything too close to heart though. You know how he gets when something is bothering him." He says

"Sam you're better at getting stuff out of him. You're his brother." You say.

"You're his fiancee, you should be the one to talk to him. He'll listen to you more than he will to me." He says.

"Okay." You say as you stand up.

"Come get me if you need anything." He says.

You nod and take a deep breath, heading up the stairs. You reach your bedroom door and knock. He doesn't answer. You open the door and he is sprawled out on the bed, staring at the ceiling.  You walk in silently and sit down next to him on the bed. 

"Dean?" You ask.

He doesn't respond, just lies there and stares at the ceiling. 

"Babe?" You say and touch his hand.

He flinches and your heart falls.

"Dean please talk to me. I'm here." You say.

"What if I don't want you here?" He snaps, sitting up suddenly.

You jump a little bit at his sudden action.

"What if I just want to be left alone for once in my life? I'm so tired or people asking me what's wrong and if I'm okay. Because--because I'm not okay!" He shouts.

You're shocked. Dean, who normally will not speak of his feelings, is laying all of them out in front of you now.

"I'm so tired of this life! Every single time we have a case I don't want to go! I'm so broken and tired!" He says, his voice cracking. 

"Dean." You say standing up and walk towards him.

"Please Y/N. Don't." He says.

"Stop. My job as the woman you love and as your fiancee is to always be here for you no matter what. We are each others other half we're supposed to support each other. I know that you aren't the kind of person to talk about your feelings or whatever but you have to because you can't bottle it up and never let it out. I want to be able to help you and I can't do that if you won't let me. I want to help you Dean because I love you. I love you so fucking much. Let me in." You say.

He doesn't say a word and begins to cry. You hug him tightly and he sobs into your shirt. 

"Shh." You say and run your hands through his hair. 

You sit down on the bed and you hold him tightly. This is something he has never done before but it makes you feel good that he's finally letting it out.

"Dean what's wrong?" You ask. 

"I'm just so tired of feeling everything. My mind is so many kinds of fucked up and I can't do it anymore." He says, more tears falling down his face.

You wipe them away.

"I--I just wish I couldn't feel a damn thing..." He whispers.

"Oh Dean." You say, your voice breaking.

You pull him back into your chest, your own tears now falling. After sitting like this for while, he pulls away, running his hands over his face.

"Dean you have no idea how long I have been waiting for this. All I have ever wanted is for you to tell me how you feel." You say, wiping your own tears away.

"Yeah it feels good." He chuckles.

"We're going to work through this together. We're going to figure this out." You say, grabbing his hand.

He hugs you tightly.

"Thank you. I love you. So much." He says.

"I love you too Dean." You say.

He kisses your forehead and then your lips softly.