winchester brothers imagines

d.w//im here

"Sam where did Dean go?"  You ask, walking into the kitchen. 

"Um I don't know. I think he went to get some fresh air. Clear his mind after...all of this I guess." Sam says.

"Okay. I'll be back." You say, putting on a jacket and heading outside. 

You walk outside into the cold air, making goosebumps rise on your skin even covered with your jacket. You head out into the woods, knowing it's where he will be. You, the brothers, and Castiel just held a wake for Mary with all of the hunters who knew her. Jack killed her on 'accident' and you don't know where he is. All you do know is that Dean is hurting and you have to try to help him. He disappeared not long after all of the hunters left and he hasn't returned. You gave him some space for a while but now you can imagine he's cold and hurting. You walk up behind him while he's sitting on a log. His shoulders are shaking slightly. He's crying. 

"D--Dean?" You say, cold and your heart hurting for your boyfriend. 

He turns around and quickly wipes his eyes. 

"Oh. Hey." He says, his voice sounding raw. 

You sit down next to him, scooting closer for some warmth. You sit in silence for a couple of seconds but it's interrupted but sniffling coming from Dean. He moon lights up the tears that are leaking down his face.

"Oh Dean." You breathe, pulling his body into yours, his face buried in your chest. 

Sobs wrack his body as he cries into you. You stroke his hair and kiss the top of his head as you try to soothe him.

"Shh. It's alright." You say. 

Tears fill your own eyes as your heart aches with sadness for Dean. You know how much his mom meant to him and losing her for a second time is killing him. Especially since it was because of Jack, another person he loved. 

"It's okay." You whisper.

"No it's not okay. It hurts." He cries. 

"I know baby. I know." You say, a tear slipping down your face. 

You let him cry until his sobs are just sniffles and his body stops shaking. He sits up and his eyes are red and swollen, his cheeks stained with tears. 

"Dean you can talk to me." You say, cupping his cheek. 

"It hurts so much Y/N. It physically hurts and I don't know what to do." He whispers, his voice cracking. 

"I wish there was something I could do." You whisper, your thumb running across his cheek, wiping a tear away. 

"Just hold me." He whispers. 

You nod and pull him back into your body. His arms wrap around your body, pulling you closer and you hold him in your arms like a child. You've never seen him like this before. He's so vulnerable and emotional and it breaks you. It makes you feel good that he knows he can be sensitive with you but it hurts you to see him like this. 

"Dean your mom loved you so much. She was so proud of you. The both of you." You whisper, stroking his hair. 

He just stays silent, his arms still locked around you. You and Mary would talk all of the time about the boys. She always gushed over how Dean has grown into the man she always knew he could be. She was so proud of him for protecting and taking care of Sam all those years she was gone and for saving others. She loved him more than anything. 

"I miss her." He says almost inaudibly. 

"We all do." You say. 

You sit for several more minutes until your too cold to think about anything else. 

"Let's go inside." You say, standing up.

Dean stands up silently. You take his face in your hands. He looks at you with his glossy emerald eyes. 

"This hurts right now. It hurts so much that it's the only thing that you can think of but I promise you Dean. It hurts less and less each day. Every day it goes away until one day you wake up and it doesn't hurt anymore. I know it seems like it will never end right now and trust me I know exactly what that feels like but time heals. It does. I will be here for you. If you need to cry, yell, or just need someone to talk to I am here. I love you Dean Winchester and you are going to get through this." You say, staring at him intently. 

He nods. You know the exact pain he's feeling, as you lost your father several years ago. You know that there is nothing you can do but be there for him and support him. You walk hand in hand back to the bunker and go to Dean's room, climb into bed and hold each other until you both fall asleep.