Attention » [H.S]

Part 32

September

Nationals start tomorrow and continue for the rest of the week, meaning my audition for the Royal London Ballet is next week and I'm petrified.

I honestly don't think I can emphasize how much has changed, since my secret has gotten out.

People have not treated me the same, there are people who have spoken to me, that have never even noticed me before this.

I've got all the dancers on my trail all the time. My social media has gone absolutely insane, with over 900k followers, which is insane.

I've got random guys trying to hit on me, which is the weirdest thing ever, considering that no guys ever looked at me besides Harry.

And Harry, he has never been so supportive, knowing that I hate all the attention that I'm getting as well as how much stress I'm under at the moment.

Yes over the past 3 weeks, we've had a fall out or two but we've never been better and whenever I'm on the verge or over the point of a panic attack, he always manages to calm me down, whether in person or over the phone.

All the attention has been exactly the reason why I did not want to tell anyone. I liked my exclusive friend group, and having the people who actually didn't notice me- not notice me- If that made any sense.

It's Monday and I left school early to go into the studio, obviously my dad allowed me to, because of nationals.

I'm now sitting on the floor of the studio at my house, after practicing non stop for the whole day.

I have never felt so pressurized with my dancing, ever. It's always been my escape, where with the simplest movements, I could just see the world differently, and break out of my comfort zone.

But now every step I take, there's always someone watching, expecting something from me, making life much more difficult, taking away that relieving feeling that dance gave me.

All the eyes on me constantly is driving me mad. I hate being in the spotlight, I hate being the topic of conversations, and I hate being the centre of attention.

However, despite the negatives, there are obviously the positives that keep me going. Well for starters, my love for dancing has grown so much over the years, that I'm not just going to give it up because someone said or did something- I'm stronger than that.

Also that it obviously feels slightly, only slightly better not having to keep something so big to myself, which I could have handled.

And lastly, for some reason, even though she caused all of this, Chloe, weirdly enough has backed off.

It's like she just forgot I exist, which I'm definitely not completely
complaining about, but I'm still a bit weary because she's never 'stopped' with me since I was little, but with all the other pressure on my chest, I've decided to lay my suspicions to rest for now.

*knock knock*

The sound brings me out of my thoughts, making me roll out of my starfish position on the floor and onto my stomach.

"Mmh come in." I say to whoever is on the other side of the door.

The door opens up and my heart flutters while a smile breaks out on my face which crinkles right up to my eyes.

"My knight in shining armor." I smile before waiting for him to join me on the floor and lean in to kiss him.

"How are you love?" He asks, snaking his arm around my waist, while gently moving a fallen piece of hair and tucking it behind my ear, causing me to look down.

"It's been nearly 7 months of us being together, and you still get shy around me, I don't get it." I look up to see his face covered with a dimpled smile while I register what he said.

"That's crazy, time goes by way too quickly." I say genuinely shocked.

"Is that what you're shocked about, or that fact that you're just about done school."

"Yeah that too, but conversation for another time." I say smiling at him.

"Mmh okay then, how about my first question, can I get an answer to that." He asks still holding me.

"Which wasssss?" I say, hoping he forgot, because the last thing I want to do is stress him out.

"How." He says placing a kiss on my neck.

"Are." Another on my cheek

"You." Again on my other cheek.

"Feeling." On my forehead.

"My." One on my nose.

"Love?" On my lips.

"Ahh I'm not going to lie, I barley heard that, but it's your fault because you distracted me." I say causing him to laugh.

"How are you feeling my love?"

"Panicked, stressed, confused, utterly exhausted, pressurized, emotional, tense, did I mention stre-." He cuts me off by placing his lips on mine, instantly calming me down.

"Breathe baby, you will be okay, you are overworking yourself." He says causing me to nod slowly.

"Now how about you go have an ice bath, before the ice I bought for you melts, and then we can just relax?" He says to me, holding my hand and leading me out the room.

After relaxing and letting my muscles sooth a bit in the bath, I get dressed in tracks and a comfy shirt, before walking out to go join Harry.

I see him sitting up with his legs folded, with his back facing me, so I take the opportunity to grab a cushion from the couch next to me and walk over quietly. I lift the cushion up, ready to swing it down, but next thing I know Harry grabs the cushion from me, dropping his phone onto the bed.

"How did you know?" I ask giggling as I jump onto the bed avoiding the pillow.

"Baby, when the bathroom door opens, and then I hear dead silence, I think I know something's up." He says chuckling, whacking me with the pillow, taking advantage of my full interest in what he was saying.

"Not fair." I say between laughs, my head thrown back.

"I think you need to get some sleep love, big day tomorrow." He says leaning forward placing a kiss on my cheek. I nod as we both get ready for bed. I wait for Harry to climb into bed and as soon as he does, I scoot closer to him and cuddle into him.

"Night my love." He says, placing a kiss on my forehead.

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@Harrystyles: Her smile is the reason for my smile.

Tagged @Arabellemae

"Harry when did you even take this." I say scrolling through Instagram.

"A spy can never reveal his secrets."

"It's a magician." I say giggling causing him to laugh.

"Mmh whatever, I'm famous now, your fans have gotten hold of me." He says chuckling.

"I don't think that's the only reason, you're quite good looking, girls go mad over you." I say causing him to laugh.

"Mmh totally, but I've got the prettiest girl right next to me. so it doesn't matter, now let's get some sleep."