thirty seven - submit

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Y/N's POV & Younghyun's POV

I sat on my bed with laptop open. It was Saturday night. My submission was due at 11:59 p.m., and it was 10:41 p.m.

I clicked back and forth between my two tracks, the major piece, which was the first one I wrote, and the minor piece.

I kept on clicking, still unable to decide. What am I supposed to do? Flip a coin?

My laptop sat at my desk, the screen glowing brightly. I don't know what time it is, I just know it's not midnight yet, and that's all that matters right now.

I had two tracks, Melody and You Were Beautiful. But I can only submit one for my application to Juilliard.

I asked Sungjin's opinion on the songs, and he said he liked You Were Beautiful better, but I feel like it was slightly biased because the band did help write that song a bit.

I am so confused. And I only have a little over an hour to decide what I'm gonna do.

I opened my browser to the submission that I got in my email this past week. I clicked it, and there was a link for me to put an attachment, commentary, and a simple submit button.

My anxiety levels skyrocketed. I'm actually doing this. I'm actually gonna risk everything right now, with whatever song I choose.

I looked over the sheet music I had stuffed in my notebook. Handwritten. Every bit of emotion put onto paper. My happiness, and my heartbreak.

I turned my head up to my laptop, with submission link staring into my soul.

11:27 p.m.

I didn't even want to ask Dowoon's opinion on my songs. He hasn't even heard the second one. I feel so bad. I'm a horrible best friend, I still haven't talked to him all week nor confided in him all of this stuff I swear why can't I-

I rubbed my temples repeatedly. I didn't have anyone I could really ask about the songs. Yeah, I asked Sungjin, but like I said, his answer wasn't really any help. I didn't want to ask any of the band, and not a single person in my family had a musical bone in their body.

Why is this so hard?

The little numbers keeping time in the corner of my screen kept increasing. The minutes slowly started going up, time passing away.

I wish I could stuff myself in my blanket and just pause time for a moment, and forget about this stupid song.

I wonder how he's dealing with this right now.

I wonder how she's dealing with this right now.

What am I saying? Y/N's such a type A person, she always has everything under control, and always knows what she's doing. She probably submitted her work like the day they sent us the submission link, or something.

Younghyun is such a cool and collected person, there's no actual way he could be stressing over this right now. Anything he writes is actual gold, he's probably not even worried about trying to get into this stupid school because he knows he will. Ugh.

Shit. What time is it?

11:48 p.m.

Okay idiot, stop overthinking everything. There's not much time left.

Oh my God, how am I supposed to decide? This is actually the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life.

Think Y/N, think! Which one of these songs would the admissions board like better?

The clock continued ticking, and ticking, drawing closer and closer to the deadline.

I'm gonna submit Sonata in D minor.

I'm gonna sumbit You Were Beautiful.

Oh god, am I really sure about this?

I am totally sure about this.

This song has so much more meaning and depth in it than my original piece. And if Wonpil even started crying when he heard it...

Oh, crap, crap, crap. It's 11:53.

I opened the submission link, and attached the .pdf file of the score and the computer-made audio file for the song as a band arrangement.

Okay time to type up some cheesy 'thank you for this opportunity' note.

"Thank you once again for the opportunity to be able to apply to such an amazing school.

Signed,
Y/N."

This doesn't feel right.

11:56 p.m.

Fuck it.

I opened the notation file and added another page between the cover and the actual music.

I started typing.

"Performance Notes:
The best way to understand and emotionally connect to this piece,

is with a broken heart."

Oh my god. It's 11:58. I literally have a minute to press a stupid button.

Younghyun, get yourself together.

I know I want to submit this song. One, it is the better of the two. And two, I just, I have a gut feeling now. That gut feeling you get when you're under pressure. It's starting to kick in.

I am literally scrambling over my laptop screen trying to save the notation file, delete the current one from my submission link and attached the new one. 

Oh fuck.

It's 11:58:30.

PDF, audio, comments, okay, done. I got this.

I think, I'm ready. I think I have this down.

Okay. It's now or never.

Fuck it. Senior Year.

Submit.

Oh my god. I did it. I actually did it.

My heart is racing. I'm sitting in bed, doing no physical activity whatsoever and I am pumped with adrenaline.

It's midnight. I should go to bed. Tomorrow's the last day of break, and I should enjoy it.

I took a deep breath. I can't believe this. I feel relieved, but also, anxious. Oh, well.

I guess I have no choice but to wait.
_________________________
A/N: if this chapter was confusing to anybody, it's supposed to be alternating pov's between yn and youngk. I've been planning this chapter for a while and I hope you guys enjoyed.
also BTS DROPPED CONCEPT PHOTOS AHAHGDNKDNDB
I am a proud armyday ok
anyways
ch. 37 soon!

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