That Voice

Chapter 38

Sage’s P.O.V

I was leaning against Elliot’s shoulder as we sat in the pews.  I tuned out the pastor’s words about how she was an amazing person and deserved more time here.  I kept thinking about Luke.  How Leah said to forgive him, and I knew that I could, but could I trust him again?  I knew I would regret not giving him a chance…

Elliot moved his arm to wrap around my shoulders and I nestled into him as he pulled me closer.  She was really gone.  She wasn’t here anymore.  

As much as I felt like it, I wasn't alone.  Not by a long shot.  I had Elliot, Ashton, Michael, Calum and…Luke.  Especially Luke.  This made me find a way to lift my spirits through the whole funeral service.

I had been calling Mike every other day about a week after I had left.  I wanted so badly to hear Luke’s voice again, along with the others’ voices, but I wasn’t ready yet.  I could only talk to Mike since he seemed more like a brother to me than any of the others except Luke.  But, well, he didn’t count.

It had really helped to talk about Leah to someone other than Elle.  He seemed lost without her.  I knew how he felt.  I was too.  

——————————————————————————————————————————

It had been about a month since the funeral.  A month since I had seen any of their faces or heard their voices besides when they were in the television or radio or magazine.  I hadn’t been out of the house except for the funeral, so most of the gossip magazines and radio interviews revolved around me.  I had vanished from 5 Seconds of Summer just as quickly as I had entered.  In all of the interviews, Luke didn’t talk except for one sentence that he always said when they talked about me.  He always looked straight into the camera and held up the ring that I had given him for my birthday.  “Come back home, Sagey.” he said and the rest of the guys were silent.  

I could see that they missed me as well by the way their shoulders were droopy and they had bags under their eyes.

I played with the necklace Luke had given me for my birthday and my finger caught on something.  A latch.  It was so tiny that I couldn’t have seen it easily.  I pressed it and it popped open.  It was a locket.

Inside were two pictures.  One was of Luke an I.  Someone, probably Ash, had taken it when we were cuddling on the couch.  I was leaning back against his chest and our hands were entwined as he was playing with my hair.  From this angle, Luke was looking down at me with a look of pure adoration in his eyes as I was smiling down at our hands.  I never knew how much he loved me until this moment.  I could never see it until now.

Seeing Luke brought a wave of regret to my heart and I quickly turned my attention to the other picture.  It was of the four guys and me during a photo shoot.  I was laying across their outstretched arms as they stood and made faces at the camera.  It was a cute photo and reminded me of all of the fun times we had on the bus.  

I had to go back soon.  But not yet.  I still had one more thing to do.