Walkers//c.g✔️

Chapter Thirty-Six

Walkers growled in the distance, I continuously stared at Carl's grave. Rick walked over to the cross made out of sticks. Placing the gun that Carl used on the cross. I sniffled. My eyes hurted from the crying. My body hurted from the heart break.

Michonne quickly killed the walkers, there body hitting the floors with a thud. Rick crouched by the cross, rubbing his temple with three fingers. He took the gun off the cross, once again. He looked at me, nodding.

I turned around, my feet taking control. I slowly walked down the street, killing the walkers that attempted to come in my way. I walked into the doorsteps of our house. I opened the yellow door, listening to it creak open. Tears brimmed my eyes as I walked up the stairs. I stopped in front of Carl's bedroom door, my lip quivered as I opened the door. His bed was unmade, some of his clothes littered the floor. I walked into the room, my fingers grazed the dresser and the bed frame. My eyes gazed to his closet door. I opened it slowly, his flannels and shirts were hung up. I swallowed harshly, shrugging my jacket off, something falling out of the pocket. I grabbed one of his flannels, putting it on, letting the warmth engulf me. I looked at the ground, the pregnancy test laid there, the screen pointing upwards. I sniffled, a tear slipping from my eyes. I picked it up, examining it for a second longer than I should've. I gently placed it in Carl's bookbag. I looked on top of the dresser, the picture we took yesterday afternoon was on it. I grabbed it, sitting down on the bed. I looked at Carl and I. I was kissing his cheek.

I let out a low cry. Biting my lip. Tears pouring from my eyes. I placed the picture in Carl's bag, wiping my tears, tugging the bag on my back. I walked down the stairs and out the door. I was greeted by Michonne, My gaze following hers, more walkers.

Rick leaving the house behind me. I walked down the stairs, my knife in my hand. Loading the materials in the back of the van. I looked at the inside of it. Memories flooding back. I sniffled, going to shut the door, something catching the corner of my eye, the gazebo. It was burning. "No." I yelled. "No!" I ran towards it, I looked around frantically for anything to put it out. Michonne coming up behind me with two fire extinguishers, I took one from her hand. Rick coming up behind her. We quickly tried to put out the flames. "Tessa." Rick said. I continued ignoring him. "Tessa!" Michonne said. A growl came from behind me, I quickly hit the walker in the skull with the fire extinguisher. I went back to trying to put out the fire.

Michonne started to drag me away, "We got it out, it's okay." She said. I was crying and I didn't even realize it. We ran back to the van, killing walkers in our way. I got into back of it by climbing over he passenger seat. I grazed my fingers over the floor boards of the van, tears brimming my eyes, remembering my memories, our memories. The engine of the van sputtered and started, tires screeching as he left Alexandria. I looked at the gazebo, the flames ignited once again. I sat down, my head banging against the wall of the van. Michonne looked at me. Tears fell from my eyes.

"What do you think he meant?" Rick asked. "Did he want us to stop fighting the Saviors? Just, surrender to Negan?"

"We could pull over, We could read what he wrote." Michonne grabbed the letters from her bag. I looked at the letters. "No. Not yet. Not me."

Michonne looked at me, "Tess?" I shook my head, "I can't." My voice cracked. "I can't."

She nodded, turning to face the road again. She looked through the letters and to whom they were addressed to. "Rick." She breathed sharply, "He- Carl, he wrote a letter to Negan."

Rick ignored Michonne, "I need to talk to Jadis." "What?" "They have weapons, people."

"You can not be serious." I spat, "Carl just died and you're worry about weapons and other fucking people."

"We can't just give that up." Rick shot back.

"Why now?" Michonne asked, "They went with me to the Sanctuary. The Saviors saw us there. They're gonna be a target, too."

I stayed quiet, drowning out the conversation. I hugged my knees. I waited in the van while Michonne and Rick went to talk to Jadis. I sat in the drivers seat.

My letter in hand. My hand trembled.

Tessa

The envelope stated. I looked at the van's mirror. My eyes bloodshot and puffy, my face tear stained. My eyes averted back to the letter. I turned it around, opening it. I took in a deep breath. Taking out the piece of paper, unfolding it slowly. My hands trembled. A polaroid falling out of the letter. I looked at the picture, Judith sat on Carl's lap, smiling. Carl's smile radiating the photo. I sat next to Carl, my head laying on his shoulder, smiling. Something that seemed extremely foreign to me at this point.

Dear Tessa Ann,

I love you Tessa Ann. I love you so much. I'm sorry things turned out this way. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you when it first happened but I couldn't, I wouldn't. I don't want you to blame yourself. I tripped on the carcass. I'm just glad you didn't get hurt. Tessa Ann, I don't think you understand my feelings for you. I'm glad I got to love you in this life time. I'm glad I got to hold you, kiss you, and love you. I'm glad that you loved me. I love you Tessa Ann, more than you know it. Which is why I'm telling you to eventually move on. For me. It doesn't have to be now, next week, next month, or even next year, I don't want you to be hung up on me forever.

Love your,
Carl Grimes.

Your. My eyes scanned over the piece of paper, over and over again. My hands trembled, I let out a sob. My head hit the steering wheel. "I love you more than you know." I whispered. I breathed in deeply. Putting the polaroid and letter into my bag. I heard a gunshot from inside. I couldn't move, I just listened to the gunshots. My head sat against the window. The gunshots died down.

My body ached. My head pounding. My eyes fluttered shut. The gunshots started again. My eyes opened, I saw Rick and Michonne running towards the van, I quickly got into the back. Rick drove off.

I listened to the van as we drove. Counting.

"Love Your, Tessa Ann." I whispered.