Quiet

Chapter Thirteen: Escape the Night

I jumped feelings Zack's hand touch my back. I flinched away, as all heads turned to pivot on me. I licked my lips and then pressed them together pulling my bottom lip in and biting down on it. The sharp inhale and exhale I was doing was a dead give away, I was nervous.

"Ah, Logan, just the person we were waiting to talk to," Dr. Carter says going to the side of his office to retrieve another chair. "So how was Tobias?"

'Good' I sign.

Tobias was a mystery, an unfinished story, a lost boy. Tobias was so much more than I expected. The boy confused me and made my heart race all in one, just with a single glance. I had to fight my mind telling me to go and walk down the corridor to find Tobias. I was not ready to sit here and tell my family let alone a therapist about my sudden weird feelings toward my 'buddy'.

"That's good. He has been here for quite a while. I see a lot of similarities in the two of you," Dr. Carter says giving me a smile and nod.

Wait, Tobias lives here? I look at him with a slightly agape mouth.

"You might want to close your mouth don't want to be catching flies there," Brendon says nudging me with his shoulder.

This new found knowledge of Tobias doesn't make me fearful of him. I knew just by the simple look in his eyes the boy was broken. But, that was not going to derail me from the treatment I was seeking. I just simply nodded and shut my mouth. Dr. Carter and my parents talked for a while longer. I waved my hand to get their attention before I started to sign.

'Can I go see Tobias?' I asked the simple question.

I noticed the uneasiness as Dr. Carter shifted in his chair. He was uncomfortable with my question. He paused for a moment, knowing he could not break his oath to do any harm or release any patient information. He paused and thought of how to break the news to me.

"It would not be in Tobias' best interest right now. He is currently," He looked at his watch on his wrist, "at dinner. He will then have therapy right after. I am positive I can give you his number though if that will make it better. He can meet you later if you'd like around maybe 6 tonight." The doctor suggested and I nodded and chewed on the inside of my cheek.

'I would like that,' I simply signed back as my parents watched the exchange.

Sarah put her hand on my knee and gave it a comforting squeeze. Her eyes were daring to tell me though. Tobias was not my problem to fix. I knew based on Dr. Carter telling me what the buddy program is and how it works. It was neither mine nor Tobias' place to try and fix each other. It was to just simply be there for one another. Right now, I felt as though I needed an answer to some rather simple questions. I wanted to see the boy with green eyes again.

————

"Logan!" Brendon called from downstairs.

I pondered a minute before running toward him. He was sitting at the piano perplex by it. I rolled my eyes and covered Tobias' eyes with my hands. He jumped a little at first. Brendon had left the room already and I smiled to myself.

"Hm, I wonder who these icy hands belong too." Tobias pondered out loud.

I let out a silent giggle, biting my bottom lip in a smile. I felt Tobias' hands go on top of mine. His rough calloused fingers but soft palms, he removed my hands from his eyes slowly and turned around to look at me.

"I thought they belonged to you," He smiled showing his dimples.

I never noticed the little things about anyone else before. I mean I noticed them when I really focused in on people. Brendon smiles one of his eyes crinkles more than the other. Sarah does a little giggle to be polite but most the time she is concealing her laugh because she hates it. Tobias reached for my hand and pulled me to sit on the piano bench with him.

"I suspect John told you," Tobias says placing his hands on his on the keys. He never dares to touch the keys though.

I nod my head. Yes, Dr. Carter had told me that Tobias lived in the center. No, he would not give me any more information. He told me it would be better if Tobias told me on my own terms and we would talk about it eventually. I wanted to know what this meant but, it also terrified me. What did it mean?

"Fucking prick," Tobias said and rubbed his face with his hands hiding behind them.

I softly try to pull his hands away from his face. Tobias seems so upset and the only thing I can think of doing is stare into his eyes. I want to stare into those green eyes and lie to myself saying it's okay.

'It's okay.' I sign to him but he doesn't see it with his face covered.

"He had no right to tell you!" He says getting angry.

I heard the footsteps come down the hallway fast and heavy. I look at Tobias and put my hand on his arm. My hand swipes his arm as he began to stand. I didn't want him to be upset. I wanted to talk to him and discuss how he could help me. God that sounds so selfish now.

"Logan, you okay?" Zack asks me giving Tobias a death glare.

I nod my head. Yes, Zack, I don't need saving all the time. I just wanted to talk. All I wanted to do right now was to talk. Tobias looked so infuriated with the fact Dr. Carter had told me he lived at the facility. He didn't tell me anything else and he needed to know that. I grabbed Tobias' hand and gave it a soft squeeze and tug pulling him toward the kitchen. He followed me reluctantly. We now sat at the breakfast bar. I had a whiteboard in front of me and began scribbling on it with my shitty handwriting.

'He told me nothing more than you live there and that you had therapy, then dinner.'

"Good," Tobias says with such venom it scares me.

Tobias shakes his head and notices the change in my demeanor. He opens his mouth a little and thinks before continuing on his assault against my pride. Maybe, I was wrong to think I wanted to be friends with such an asshole.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just... Please don't worry about my problems they are mine to fix." Taking in a deep breath he inhales right beside my face.

I feel the goosebumps start on my arm and work their way up my body. I let out a whimper and squirm on the stool. My past coming to haunt me. Tobias looked fearful as I shoved him away and ran upstairs to the one person who I knew could top the panic rising up my throat. Brendon sat in the studio and I ran straight for him barreling myself into his chest. Tobias was close on my heels. Brendon was so lost as my body shook in his arms. He could do nothing more than hold my body close and wait for my memories to quit their tirade on my mind. All I wanted to do was to forget that night. Why out of all the horrible things can I never forget that night?

"I'm so sorry, Logan, I didn't mean to." Tobias began to try and grasp words that he thought could fix our problems.

No words could fix my problems. I like a Hemingway story hold the truth in the statement, 'I know now that there is no one thing that is true- it is all true'