Quiet

Chapter Twenty Seven: A letter

I stayed settled in dad's arms letting my body shake. He rocked us both back and forth taking his hands and rubbing my back. I let the tears fall for a long time before someone told dad we needed to move onto the bus again. Ryleigh had gone with All Time Low to their bus. I clung to dad as he struggled to keep ahold of my now weak body.

"Baby girl I am gonna place you down for a second," Dad whispered in my ear placing a hand on the back of my head.

I clung onto him tighter. I knew what I had to do but didn't want to. I felt hands pull me off, dad. I tried so desperately to grab him back but I was pulled to a new body. I saw tattoos on their arm and soon realized it to be Tyler. I clung to him as he waited for dad to get up before dad took me back. I was already small for my age. Dad took me from Tyler and whispered something to him before taking us to the bus. Tyler ran back over to the Twenty One Pilots bus and hopped on.

"Okay kiddo you gotta let go. I need to shower." Dad said and I shook my head.

"Zack can you. You know." Zack removed me from dad blocking my way of getting to him while he ran to go shower quickly.

The tears started to form again in my eyes. I felt the sting of them coming on. Come on Logan suck it up. He is just going to shower. You need to text your mom. She is probably concerned. I felt my pockets for my phone before finding it in my hoodie pocket. I thought of a message to send her but the words wouldn't come.

'I'm fine. Dad went to the shower. He said we would talk later. I'm sorry I cause so many problems.' I finally come up with an adequate text before pressing send.

I then went to the cabinet by the sink and opened the cabinet. I pulled out some paper and went to the upper cabinet and pulled out a pencil. I went and sat in the breakfast seating area bench. I began to write. I let everything out things I didn't even know I was writing.

I should start at the beginning of how I know Ryleigh. Ryleigh and I were in the same orphanage before I placed into foster care. I didn't know she was adopted by Josh or Tyler. Ryleigh and I were always as thick as thieves. She knows the truth. She knows what happened that night. The night my parents died. It was not a random hit. My dad had debt he owed some guy and he didn't have the money to pay him yet. What makes it worse it is was my fault. They wanted me and I wasn't there. They wanted me. I was off with Josh, Tyler and Ryleigh climbing trees and being a kid. While that man did god knows what to my parents before killing them. I walked back home and I walked in and stepped in my mother's blood. My father was an alcoholic as it was. He drank to the point he didn't remember slapping me. It doesn't help the fact that I was then placed in a foster home where the man was the same way. He took it out on me left and right and I couldn't ever escape.

I found my father and I just screamed until the neighbors heard me and they called the cops. The bodies were removed and a funeral was held. They are buried in Ohio somewhere. My grandparents didn't want to take me because they didn't want to be responsible for the person I would turn out to be. Kind of like saying I don't want a fucked-up kid to raise. It's like they knew.

As I grew up from home to home or home to new orphanage. I met people, I had people who I wish I could have stayed in their homes longer or wish they could have adopted me. But everything leads me here. I know that it wouldn't have ended this way if I had been adopted back then. I wouldn't be where I am today.

Back to Ryleigh. Ryleigh was the last person I actually talked to. She knows my voice. I hope she remembers the sound of my laugh. She was always really outgoing and so happy until she was put in the orphanage. I would have never imagined her being related to Josh or Tyler. We were always just some dorky kids with nothing else better to do. I remember Ryleigh taking chalk one day and us just painting the sidewalk in front of the orphanage asking anyone above why life was like this. I remember her telling me one day I would get the answer. I don't think the answer is one I particularly like.

I don't understand why it had to be. I don't understand why it had to be me he took his anger out on. I don't know why it had to be to find my parents bodies. I don't understand why bad things keep happening to me. I was told it was easier to run from your problems because you can't hide and that is what I do. I am so tired of running because it makes me feel guilty which I guess means I have a conscious. That or I care, I don't know which. Because most days I feel like nothing is going to get better and I am just meant to run.

"You know you don't have to write me that letter," Dad said from behind me causing me to jump so high I hit my head on the cabinet above me.

"Shit." He said and grabbed my head rubbing the spot I had hit. His lips brushed over the spot kissing it.

"All better." He smiled cheekily at me.

'The letter isn't just for you. It's for mom too.' I signed.

"You don't owe us any piece of paper explaining anything Logan Blake," Dad said before taking my hand in his.

"You owe us the right to try and show you what a family is. You need to let us show you we can be a family if we all try. I know mom isn't here right now but she would be so, so, proud of you. One for climbing that fence, and two for coming back." Dad said before grabbing my piece of paper.

"This proves you are our daughter. This right here. Proves you are capable of love and that is all we need." He finished his thing before wrapping me in a hug again.

I placed my head on his shoulder and let him hold my body close. It wasn't long before I felt my body start to drift off. I fell asleep in dad's arms which was fine. I before I fell asleep heard him whisper a soft I love you and I raised my hand to sign it back before he balled my hand into a fist laying it at my side.

"Goodnight baby girl." He whispered kissing my head goodnight and tucking me into my bunk.