Quiet

Chapter Fourteen: Honesty is Help

"I, It's complicated," Tobias began as he sat at the dining table.

Brendon had calmed me down and Zack was no standing as a fill-in parent while Brendon went to stream something or work on music. Sarah had to run to the store with some of her friends and do something else. I couldn't blame her if she ran away altogether. We, as a whole, we're a lot to handle. Zack shuffled his feet before motioning that he was going to go sit in the living room. I rolled my eyes and nodded.

"Hey, don't do that. They are just worried. They don't necessarily know me and you running off like that didn't help my case." Tobias snapped at me.

I didn't know why staring at the boy, I was trying. I wanted to scream he infuriated me so much. Why couldn't I just be normal? Why couldn't I scream at him? I threw my hands up frustrated before slamming my chair up against the table before walking off. Tobias was hot on my heels as I walked upstairs toward my room.

'You, are not welcomed up here.' I signed to him and he forced himself to continue to follow me.

"Well too bad. Life isn't always nice to all of us, Tobias barked again.

Once, in my room admiring the minimalistic aspects of it Tobias smirked. I waited for the shitty remark to be thrown my way. I waited in the silence, no remark came. I looked at him raising my eyebrow and caused to Tobias to almost double over in a fit of laughter. I couldn't help by smirk at the tall lanky boy in front of me holding his sides while his eyes crinkled so much they closed.

"It's cute." Tobias said finally containing his laughter. "better than the hospital."

'Can we talk about that?' I sign sitting on my bed.

"Ugh. Do we have to?" He says and throws himself open arms on my bed face first. "I forgot what it was like to have a real bed. Not that piece of shit bed at the hospital."

Tobias let out a soft yawn rolling onto his back. He crossed his long arms over his stomach. Closing his green eyes his eyes still flicking back and forth noticeable by watching his eyelids. His slightly curly locks in his face. I couldn't help but want to push the boy off my bed while at the same time cuddle up against him. He looked so peaceful.

"My mom didn't want me anymore," The boy spoke softly up toward the ceiling. I twisted my head over to watch his lips move.

"She had some, um, issues of her own. She didn't want to raise me so she left me there." He said starting to twitch. He began to tap his fingers on his leg and his mouth opened to start speaking again, while his eyes opened and the water began to fall from the edges.

"Fuck." He muttered sitting up. "I just. She left me with that man. He thinks that it's just better if after all these years I live there and not with him. I am still a big secret to his new life. Logan, promise me if one day I just... disappear promise me you'll continue on and not look for me."

I looked at the boy in the eyes and brought my hand to his chest shaking my head. I couldn't continue on as nothing happened after meeting Tobias. The boy mystified me, confused me, but most of all drew me in. I looked at his eyes as he fought back his demons. He did it with so little effort. It was almost second nature now to him.

"I-I can't get you hurt," Tobias said standing and began to pace around the room.

That is when I heard the door to the back entrance open and close I heard Brendon's voice. I heard him talking to Zack probably asking where we had gone. Tobias was still pacing back and forth running his fingers through his hair. I looked at him confused. I didn't know what to do console the poor boy or tell Dr. Carter about him. I drew Tobias in and tabbed on his chest placing my head beside my hand tapping.

"You're tapping out Mozart aren't you." Tobias wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back with his hands.

I nodded pressing my ear to his chest. I began to switch beats. I then tapped the beat of his heart. Tap, tap-tap, tap over and over again. I didn't get tired of tapping the beat and watching Tobias try and figure out what piece I was tapping out. He finally gave up and I just smiled up at him.

"I have something I need to tell you. You have to promise me though you will not confront the man about it. It's bad enough he is trying to ruin my damn life but," He puffed out a breath he had been holding in obviously. I nodded my head to Tobias.

"Dr. Carter is my dad," Tobias said and I looked at him like he had three heads.

Dr. Carter was Tobias, dad. I never noticed how much the two looked alike. Tobias had his dark hair and bright green eyes. They also had similar hands and mannerisms. Dr. Carter would tap out beats on his desk or drum his fingers or flick and pen when talking. Tobias' fingers twitch exactly like his dads. They were even roughly the same height. Tobias just being slightly shorter. I wondered where Tobias got his slightly curly hair from, most likely his mom. Someone he refuses to talk about.

"He left my mom right after I was born. I grew up never knowing the man. Nor, did I ever want to know the man. But, my mom got into her situation. She gave up all her custodial rights to the man leaving me on the doorstep of his place. He has a nice new family, drives a car that I could only ever dream of even seeing before I knew him. He- I mean, I really fucked up. I, um, I refused to speak to the man for a while before he admitted me into the hospital for therapy. I feel free there and like I'm in prison at the same time. I'm so mad she just gave up on me and he didn't even want the relationship." Tobias rambled toward the ceiling pissed off.

I watch his facial features change as he mentioned his mom. His eyes sparkled with admiration and hatred. His eyes were cold when mentioning Dr. Carter but I couldn't blame him. I felt sorry he was left there. I wondered if maybe Brendon and Sarah would send me there like Tobias was. I feared that. I just began to feel comfortable in this house and place.

"I just, I guess, I am a little envious." Tobias finally admits. I can't help but rest my head on his chest again staring at him.

I admired him for the love he showed everyone. That was admirable, not the pain the boy always felt and understood but the pain he refused to let consume him.

"I was mute just like you. That's why I know the path you're on." Tobias spoke softly before smiling down at me and giving me a soft sigh.

"Do you think your parents would let us go on a walk or out to dinner? You know, just the two of us?"

I nodded and put my shoes on, grabbed a jacket and walked hand in hand with Tobias dragging him downstairs and out the front door not even bothering to notify Zack or Brendon. I had my phone and I didn't care. Maybe an adventure with Tobias would be helpful.

"So what first Log? Dinner or this walk?" Tobias pulled his hands away and put them in his pockets. I just smiled at him with a dorky look known as trouble.