Quiet

Chapter Forty-Nine: Pathetic

We sat in my room until Zack from All Time Low came and knocked on the door. He nodded his head toward the stairs signaling us to go down to eat dinner. I had given Ryleigh her gift which was a shirt and I bought her a few pieces of candy. Ryleigh had not ate her candy which was a little weird I thought. I watched her trying to read her body language couldn't. I watched her body language change with Zack though. As everyone walked down stairs I went to dad's off and grabbed a guitar off the wall. It was just a random acoustic guitar, I must have not been noticed or missed because I didn't hear any shouts for my name.

After a while of being in the upstairs area where dad keeps some of his guitars I heard a knock on the door. It's as Jack, he pointed at the door handle. I had locked the door when I came in here out of habit. I got up and unlocked the door. Jack walked in and sat down on the chair beside me, I looked at him with confused eyes.

"You and Beckett huh?"

I nodded my head picking the guitar back up and began to strum different notes on dad's guitar. Jack kept watching me skeptically as to what I was hiding. He sighed and put a hand on my back and began to rub my back in a comforting way.

"I know I'm not Alex, but I am here for you if you need anything we all are." He said before getting up and standing at the door.

"Wait," I croaked out causing him to spin on his heels.

"I'm sorry." It came out rough and crackly.

I felt the tears prick at my eyes and I didn't even know what I was crying about or over anymore. Jack opened his arms and took my small body in his own. He let me put my head into his chest and just cried. Jack kept rubbing my back and that is when I noticed just how small I had gotten. I had always been a small statured person, and I was always skinny but now I was like bones. I kept feeling jacks hand on the back of my rib cage and that kind of bothered me but the voice in my head told me I still wasn't good enough.

Alex knocked on the door and jiggled the door handle coming in. He looked at my frail body and then my tear stained cheeks. He opened his arms for me as well and I moved into them. Alex was always really warm. I put my arms up into the back of his jacket and held onto the back of his shirt. He and Jack just allowed me to have my moment and cry everything out. Once I had finally stopped and we wiped the tears away. Rian had come out searching for the other half of his band. He was truly the parent of them all I swear to god.

"Hey where have you guys been?" He says from the middle of the stairs.

"Don't worry about it Rain." Alex says and keeps a hand on my back as I walk down the steps.

Beckett had ended up leaving without saying goodbye. Ryleigh and Zack were cuddled up on the sofa. Mom and Dad were talking to each other. Rian looked at my face analyzing it for a moment before letting it click in. The red cheeks, puffy eyes, the really deep green color.

"Have you been crying?" He said and placed both hands on my face to get a good look at me.

Ryleigh had changed positions and got up to come look at me. Maybe my mind was playing games on me but it seemed like Ryleigh was smiling while inside I didn't know why I was dying. She put a hand on my arm and I pulled it away.

"Logan," She whispered and tried to grab my arm again.

I took a step backwards running into Alex's hand and Jack's body. She looked at me confused. I wanted to dart back upstairs but that wasn't happening. I was so upset with myself Beckett had left without saying goodbye which really hurt my feelings. I didn't get to kiss him goodbye or tell him to tell Kolbi I missed her. I started to feel my world spin around me as I scrunched my eyebrows together and desperately looked up at the ceiling light. I felt my chest tighten and I knew I couldn't do anything now other than ride it out.