Quiet

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Leather

Beckett and I walked up the steps up to the house. I turned and looked at him he looked at me with the same sad eyes before putting an arm around me and telling me we would be alright. Somehow I didn't believe that lie. I unlocked the door and walked in throwing my keys into the bowl by the door. Beckett placed his keys on the counter as Kolbi ran to give her dad a hug. She stopped when she noticed me in Beckett's blazer and her dad's arm wrapped in a light bandage.

"You okay daddy?" She said and carefully moved closer to her father examining the injury.

"Yeah daddy is fine kiddo," Beckett ruffled her head. "Do you want some of daddy's chicken nuggets?"

Kolbi nodded and walked into the dinning room. I had a flashback to one of the first nights Tobias was allowed out of the hospital. It was the first time I had sat in the dining room and ate. Now here I was again eating with a new person. Was the same thing going to happen again? This sucked why is my head like this.

I got a few paper plates from the kitchen while mom watched me grab two cups. We still had yet bought stuff to accommodate for all of mom's friends who had kids, or dad's siblings who had kids. So I got Kolbi a straw and cup, also one for Beckett. For myself, I grabbed a water bottle and ran the plates back to the dining room. Beckett had begun to take the food out of the bag and place is on the table. He gave me a small smile pulling out a seat for me. He had got a tea at Wendy's and was going to now split it between him and Kolbi.

"You seem sad," Kolbi said speaking softly and eating a chicken nugget.

"Kolbi, what have I told you about speaking with food in your mouth?" Beckett asked the small child.

'it's fine. Yeah, I'm a little sad.' I signed straight at her and she cocked her head to the side.

"Why you are with my daddy who is the best person I know!" She exclaimed reaching across the table at me.

As much as I wanted to laugh at how enthusiastic she was, I at the same time wanted to cry. Kolbi would not understand what it is like to lose someone she is so young. I held back both the laugh and tears.

'I know. He is awesome. Sometimes though, you are just sad, that's okay though.' I signed confusing her.

"What?" She said getting lost.

Part of me believed this to be because she was so interested in her food which was not an issue. I would be two if I were 3 years old. I sighed and ate my sandwich causing Beckett to put a hand on my knee and rub small circles. The flashbacks began to flood into my mind. The last dinner Tobias and I had how he grabbed my knee under the table.

Did he plan this? Was it intentional?

I got up from the table after finishing my sandwich and sat back down at the table. I placed my head on the table while Beckett ate the rest of Kolbi's fries. Kolbi by this point had decided to run off and go play. Beckett had brought a few toys over that we kept in the guest bedroom now. In a way, it had sort of become Kolbi and Beckett's room. Beckett rubbed my back and kept whispering sweet nothings to me. I couldn't help but imagine how it should have been me.

'It's not okay though. He had so much life to him and he... he didn't deserve to die.' I began to sob as dad rushed into the room and held me in his chest.

Dad held me until I cried myself to sleep. The days seemed to roll by like how seasons change and you don't notice it as a kid. Before I knew it, the day had some. The funeral came up and was staring my down. I wore a simple black dress and a black jacket. Beckett and Ryleigh came with me to the funeral.

I signed the book and shook hands with Tobias' mom. I looked at her in complete disbelief not only did she have to grieve a son she had to grieve a husband. I hugged her so tight as we both cried. Beckett rubbed my back while Ryleigh stood beside me sort of awkwardly before shaking Mrs. Carter's hand and we moved on. Tobias' body was cleaned of all cuts he had sustained during the crash. I looked over his body and reached into my jacket pocket.