Monsters in my head

10 Allisons P.O.V.

Allison's P.O.V.

I opened the front door to Jessica's house and Ash carried her out. She passed out crying in his arms, he has so much and he loves her like a sister. I love her like she was my sister and I can't picture my life without her. I open the car door and Ash puts her in while I put her bag in the trunk of the car and climb into the passangers front seat of the car.

Ash just holds her all the way to my place and carry's her into my place and upto my room. He tucks her in and my mum calls me down and I gave Ash a glance that says stay here and watch her for a minuet. I head down the stairs and my mum is sitting on the chair and she gives me a sad smile. " What happened?" She says and I sigh. " She had a breakdown but she cried alot and passed out in Ash's arms. " She shakes her head and says " Get some sleep." I go upstairs and head to my bathroom and do something I haven't done in a while. I close the door and pull my skinny jeans down just enough for my destroyed hip to show. I grab the nail sizzors and make mutiple marks, finding calmness in the blood that came out of the cuts. A weird fact I stumbled upon on tumblr is blood has a smell so light that it calms the human body. I washed the nail  sizzors and put them back in the bowl. I grab some toilet paper and quickly wipe up the blood and flush it down the toilet. I fix my jeans and head to my room where I pull my TARDIS blanket off the bed and lay down on the floor, and Ash leaves the room and heads down stairs. I grab my Ipod and turn on my music, that tends to be loud. I fall asleep to Attila alot of the time and everyone is amazed for some reason. Why did Jess break though? I am not enough, she deserves a better friend then me. Honestly she could have so much better and yet she stays near me. I'm a worthless piece of shit, and eventually everyone leaves me. I can't even tell people how much I hurt because I don't want to have everyone worry about me. I hate my life, I am going to die alone, no one ever will stay and I know Jess and Ash will leave me eventually. Give it some time and I will just be a fade memmory to everyone. Just that quiet girl that draws alot, and reads but never shows anyone her drawings or writing because she is over protective. Everyone says that about me, no one cares and I can't live much longer. I cleary don't belong, and I have no purpous. Ash then stood at the door and looked at Jess. I was half asleep so I just let him stand there. He came in and then I could hear him and  Jess whispering and I got up when things got quiet. " No having sex in my room" I say and they laugh but both of them blush. They know I love them like siblings, at least I hope so.