Monsters in my head

14 Allisons P.O.V.

Trigger warning

I walked back into my room after Jessica left and logged onto my facebook. I had alot of noteifications and they were comments on a video posted. I clicked on the video and watched it. There was me and a razer blade built in. The audio was terrible, everyone saying I should die, I'm worthless, nothing, that I should hit a vein and just die. I agree with them, I should die. I'm a fat waste of space, no one would ever care about me. Hell I don't even care about me. I hate myself my own mother hates me. I'm a terrible child, I shouldn't even breath anymore. It hurts me to breath and I just don't want to anymore. I quickly grabbed a paper a scribbled down my goodbye.

To: Jess and Ash

Look I'm sorry for being a waste of space, you were just going to leave me like everyone else. I don't want to be here, look I know I seem strong but I'm not. I want this pain to end. I guess this is really my only way out. I'm sorry, please keep living for me. I hate that I am doing this but I have to. I guess I need to end it all. Not like I'm needed at all. You will do just fine without me. I'm sorry and I love you guys but Goodbye.~ Allison

I exited my room and went to the bathroom where my medicen cabnet is. I took out the advil and my anxiety pills and swallowed and handfull of each. I then grabbed my nail sissors and started to slice at my wrist. Blood was pooring out everywhere and soon I was on the floor. Gasping for air, but the bathroom door was knocked down and soon my brother was at my side trying to stop the bleeding. " Stop..... let me.... die. Please." I begged and then slipped into a blissful sleep.

I blinked a few times, the piercing white lights killing my eyes, though I was soon gagging on something that was in my throat. Someone removed it and handed me my glasses. " Ms. Allison how are you feeling?" A nurse asked. Fuck I didn't die, I looked away with tears in my eye's and staired out the window. " Your at marryville." She stated and then left the room. I looked down to see my wrists covered in gauze and an I.V. in my arm. Why can't I do anything right? I can't even kill myself propely?! I hate my life and all I want to do is leave. Soon another nurse came in and put something in my I.V. I was then asleep again.

Authors note: Het i just want to say that suicide is never the answer. I may have writen about it but this is a book and I WILL NEVER SAY SUICIDE IS AN ANSWER BEACUSE IT'S NOT. its a perminit thing once you are dead your dead. Please find a way to get help.... talk to some one please there are hotlines and there is kids help phone if you dont want to talk to someone you know