The Crew's Book of Hermitcraft Season Six Oneshots

Undeath is NOT cheating!

It was the morning after the competition. Cleo had taped paper over her windows and was hiding under the table from the painful sunlight. Otherwise, she was basically minding her own business when there came a knock at her door. She didn't respond, opening the door would mean letting sunlight in.

"Cleo, you cheater, let me in!" Ren's voice was full of anger, and a faint canine growl lurked in the back of it. He always got irritable like this around solstices, equinoxes and blue moons. She reached into the drawer above her and got out a dog whistle, just in case.

"Come back tomorrow!" Cleo yelled, still refusing to leave the area beneath her desk. "You don't want me to burn, do you?"

"I don't care! You cheated!" Ren growled, furious. "Now open up the door or else." And then Cleo said the most ridiculous thing she ever had said:

"Else, please!" And the door fell in. Ren was stood there, holding a crossbow, loaded up with your standard elytra rockets.

"Cheater! I won't hesitate, bitch!" He half-barked, aiming the crossbow at Cleo's face.

"Actually, I think you'll find that you're the dog here."

I found the dust muppet! Now to clean this thing out, you never know, the dust could be the source of the problem. Anyway, I think we're supposed to put a Time Skip in here.

About eight minutes later, Iskall wandered onto Cleo's ship looking for Ren, when he heard an absurdly loud crash from in the cabin. The paper covering the window was torn in places, and through it, Iskall could see a figure holding a crossbow. He decided to wait a couple minutes before heading in.

Meanwhile, in the cabin, the greatest battle to grace the Hermitcraft server was commencing. All the furniture save for one bookshelf had been upturned, and Cleo was on her knees, staring down Ren's crossbow. She reached into her pocket, and pulled out a dog whistle.

"I dare you." She whispered menacingly.

"You wouldn't."

"I will, if you don't get that crossbow out of my face."

"Okay then. Try it."

And to Ren's surprise, she did. While all Cleo heard was silence, Ren's ears filled with a horrible noise. It was like a million ants were biting his eardrums, it was so loud and painful. And so Ren did what anyone would do in that much pain, and snapped.

Firing rocket after rocket at the source of his pain, but missing every time due to the distraction, Ren couldn't care less about keeping his dog side in check. He stumbled backwards, tripping over and collapsing the bookcase. Cleo got a wooden sword out, and pointed it at him. Ren just let out a soft growl.

And Iskall chose that precise moment to walk in the room.

"Everyone alright in here?" He asked, and then he realised just how bad the abyss of chaos he was staring into was. Eyelid twitching, he quietly walked backwards out of the room. Nope. He was NOT getting involved with whatever that was. As he closed the door behind him, he let out a nervous chuckle. This server, man. This server.

I hope I did a good job! I can't write fight scenes, even in a comedic context.

Anyhoo, it's a bank holiday, so expect weekend-level chapter production! The next chapter of the interactive story really needs as many votes as possible, as we are entering the part of the story where not just the mid-season finale will be affected, but the ending as well.

This has been Pi, and I'll see you all at some point in the future!