The Crew's Book of Hermitcraft Season Six Oneshots

Monopoly Man - Shadow AU

From Mine-sara-sp's shadow AU.

For those of you not on hermitblr, here's a handy guide to terms used in this chapter.

Shadow: Usually hostile mob, gets stronger and smarter each time you kill yours.

Solo: Ren's shadow. Punk.

Jigsaw: Grian's shadow. Evil.

Phas: Cleo's shadow. Cat.

Murmur: Mumbo's shadow. Babey.

Avarice and Keloid: Cub and Scar's shadows. Run.

Killjoy: Joe's shadow. Possessive.

It was a stupid idea. Everyone agreed on that. It had come to Ren in a daze while he was recovering from a vibe check, courtesy of Solo. It had its merits, but it was absolutely insane. So the hermits kept it tucked away in the backs of their minds, in case they needed it, but they were confident they wouldn't. A last resort, if you will.

After all, why would playing Monopoly, of anything, stop Jigsaw from torturing the hermits?

Time skip brought to you by Phas knocking down ALL THE ARMOUR STANDS.

Ren was hanging upside-down by his ankles over a pool of lava. Needless, to say, it was Jigsaw's fault. Grian had been trying to duplicate more diamonds for some unknowable reason, and one thing had led to another. Ren knew nobody was coming, either. They were in such a remote part of the Nether that no search party would stand a chance.

It felt like Ren's feet were slowly being ripped off. He knew they weren't, but at least the pain would stop then. And then he remembered. The last resort plan. The only thing that had the slimmest chance of saving him. Of all things, it was Monopoly. He would have laughed if breathing didn't hurt.

He called to Jigsaw, who he knew would be listening somewhere. Said he had a surprise, which wasn't exactly a lie. Curious, Jigsaw reeled him in, holding him at knifepoint.

"What does the dog want to play now? Fetch?"

"Monopoly."

"Knife Monopoly?"

"What's knife Monopoly?"

"I don't know, but it sounds fun!"

Jigsaw let out the kind of chuckle you would expect to hear from a serial killer who believes that the mere presence of a knife is cause for hilarity. It made Ren's guts squirm. But at least his ankles were slowly ceasing to ache. He took his communicator from beside Jigsaw and messaged the other hermits. It was Monopoly time.

Time Skip brought to you by the Vex shadows. Just, just the Vex shadows.

Tensions were running high at the gaming table. They were only five minutes into the game, and things were spiralling out of control quickly. Mumbo and Murmur had formed an alliance and were scarily good, Avarice and Keloid had come to watch (with their shiny, of course), and ended up stealing half the money, and Killjoy had Joe in some kind blackmail situation.

Jigsaw? Jigsaw was having the time of his life. His role as the banker meant that he could just keep casually winding up tensions until everybody suddenly snapped. He had made a small bet with himself that Iskall or Grian would be the first to go, probably at him. But they hadn't. Not yet.

In fact, despite all the problems, the game ended relatively peacefully. Jigsaw wasn't exactly happy with this, and slinked away before the Hermits had thought they'd beaten him. He would get the better of them next time. He just had to put a little... edge on things. He cackled to himself. Oh, next time, things would hurt.

Someone appeared behind him. Killjoy. Well, that shadow certainly was one.

"I hope you're not planning anything that hurts someone other than your summoner."

"That's wishful thinking."

"Guess I'll have to take preemptive action, then."

Jigsaw was impaled before he could even retort. For a moment, the air wavered, and it seemed as if there was another Jigsaw. Just for a moment. As Grian's shadow dissolved, Killjoy noted the diamonds that Grian had wanted. But he had meddled enough, and left them to despawn.

Once again, I'd like to thank Mine-Sara-sp for this AU.

Oh, and RaeTheStar, you wanted me to tag you on this.

Autocorrect, signing off from the past!