Thoughts & Love[NSFW]

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Marina is basically me

Marina's POV

I was heading into the bathroom to take a shower, recently I stopped taking showers with Pearl for...personal reasons. I put my sleepwear on the floor and started to take off my clothes putting them next to my sleepwear.

I looked down at my thighs and groaned touching my cuts, their turning into scars which is good but there's so many... I started picking at the scabs of some of my cuts but stopped as I saw my eyes start to water up.

"No, don't cry, stop it." I said quietly to myself and wiped my eyes. I turned on the water and moved the curtains so I could get in. I looked down at my stomach, wow I'm fat.

'Cut yourself, slut'

Uhh, no. I stepped into the shower and closed the curtain, I sighed as the warm water came rushing down on my dark toned skin.

I winced as the water hit some of my cuts, I'm so negative all the time, but yet Pearl's still fine with me?

Cod, I'm so fat. Literally I'm like a slut, why do I still drag the incident on? Why can't I just forget about it, it's all my fault. It's all my fucking fault that happened.

I banged my head against the shower wall a couple times, I didn't care how loud I was. I kept banging my head till I started to feel my head hurt. I put my hand over my forehead to try and control the pain.

Why did I do that again, why do I have to be so stupid? I slam my fist against the wall, "OW!" I held my fist close to my chest, that really hurt.

I heard a knock on the door and quickly put on my happy attitude. I heard Pearl speaking, "Mar you alright? I heard banging."

"Yep! I'm fine." I reassured Pearl but I'm terrible at lying.

"Can I come in?" Pearl asked from outside the bathroom.

I really don't want her in here-"Sure." Such a dumbass why did I say sure.

I heard Pearl open the door so I peaked my head around the curtain to see her. "Why did you want to come in?" I asked, the water was still rushing down so I turned it off.

Pearl shrugged, "We never shower together anymore and I thought something's wrong, but you seem fine, sorry for worrying." Pearl mumbled the last part.

"It's fine, do you want to take a shower with me?" My curiosity of what Pearl's thinking got to me.

Pearl nodded, "Yeah. You ok with that?" She asked looking down at the floor. She was twiddling her thumbs.

I don't want to but I don't want to make her sad. "That's fine." I agreed with a fake smile.

I watched as Pearl started taking off her clothes, she didn't take that long and once she was naked I admired her, she's so beautiful.

"I know I'm great an all, but stop staring at me and let me get in the shower with you." Pearl smirked and put her hands on her hips. I felt my face turn teal from what she said, I opened the shower curtain and she walked into the shower and closed the curtain.

I couldn't bother to look at Pearl, while I was staring at the floor I felt Pearl wrap around me, "W-What are you doing?" I stuttered from the unexpected action.

"Hugging you, I know you're upset so I'm cheering you up." Pearl hugged me tighter, I hugged her back resting my head against her shoulder.

"I'm ok, trust me. I'm-"why am I lying to myself"-fine.." I squeezed Pearl tighter.

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