Lost Innocence

Chapter Seventeen

POV Joe

I landed in Las Vegas when it was already nighttime. I texted Christine to tell her I landed safely. Now to find my mother. I had worked on a new song on the flight but wasn't able to finish. Thankfully, I brought my guitar maybe I would finish it in the hotel. I arrived at the hotel and threw my suitcase on a chair. It was ten pm by the time I showered and laid down on the bed. The next morning I would go to the prison and confront my mother. I had so many fucking questions. My biggest one was why the fuck did she let me believe she was dead for seventeen years. The other would be why did she let me live with the abusive assholes that were known as her relatives. I picked up the phone and called Christine. 
"Hey baby." I said smiling at the sound of her voice.
"Hey, how was your flight?" 
"Pretty good, worked on a new song but it's not ready yet."
"Are you ready for tomorrow?"
"No but I'll live."
"Call me if you need anything."
"Will do. I love you. Goodnight." 
"I love you too."
I was shocked to hear her say it. She had never said it before. I smiled as I hung up and put my phone on the nightstand. 

The next morning I woke up and my heart raced. It was time. I showered and threw on the first pair of clothes in my suitcase. I took a cab to the prison and when I stood in front of the dark, large facility I took a deep breath. I walked in and signed some papers and showed them identification. They took me to a large room where many inmates sat at tables with their visiting relatives. I sat at an empty table and waited for my mom. I looked at the door in front of me open. It was my mom. She was wearing an orange prison jumpsuit and looked no older than forty. I stood up and we were face to face. The minute we looked each other in the eyes she knew who I was. My jaw clenched and so did my fists. 
"My boy." She said. I noticed her hand reach out to me but I stopped it. I wasn't ready for that just yet. I didn't know if I ever would be. 
"Why the hell did you make me believe you were dead?! More importantly why was I raised by abusive assholes rather than my own parents? Is my father alive too?"
"Yes he is but after you turned 6 months he left. I was young and alone. I was in love with him and when he left I was broken and I just couldn't do it."
"And the best option was abandoning me!?" 
"Joesph I loved you, I really did." 
"That's rich." 
"I tried...I really did. It was too much." 
"What you did to me...and then finding out you were alive because got arrested and it was on the news.  How can you lie to me for all those years! What the fuck!?" 
I couldn't look her in the eye. 
"Do you have any idea of what I went through!? I was abused my whole life!"
"I'm so sorry, if I could go back and do things differently I would." 
I sat back down and looked down. I hated her for leaving me with abusive guardians rather than raising me like she should have. It was hard to believe anything that came out of her mouth. 
"You should have done better by me, I'm your damn son." 
"I really did love you, your my son, but everything that was going on, I was scared." 
"You shouldn't have had me then and as far as my father goes, if he left his pregnant girlfriend that makes him even worse. A fucking coward who didn't have the balls to be a man and raise his damn son." 
"You don't know what it was like for me to leave you. It's not like I wanted to, I had no choice." My mother said as she also sat down. My fist were clenched and one of them slammed on the table. 
"I needed a mother! And I missed out on one because you didn't want to take on the responsibility, don't give me any of your "I couldn't do it" crap, it was well within your ability to raise me. If you so willing to spread your legs you should have been just as willing to raise me." I said. I didn't know where all of this anger and rage was coming from. It wasn't like me at all. Seeing my mother had brought out a side of me that I didn't even know existed. 
"Where's my father?" 
"Right now, I don't know, I haven't seen him in five years." 
"We're done here." I said as I got up. I walked out the door before she could even reply. I made my way back to the hotel and prepared to get out of this city tomorrow morning. One thing was for sure, I wasn't ready to forgive my mother any time soon. The next step would be to find my father which was for another day.