Lost Innocence

Chapter Nineteen

POV Joe

Over the past couple of weeks we began to grow closer to Ian. The guy was pretty cool and was always there to protect Sherrie and Sophie when it came to shows at the Serpent Cove. One day he came over to hang out with me and the guys. I heard a knock and answered knowing it'd be him. We were talking about upcoming performance dates and rehearsal schedules when Ian arrived. We had fun that night. We drank, talked, and laughed. 

The next morning I had woken up before everyone else and made some coffee. I poured myself a cup and sat on the couch in the living room. I turned on the TV and saw the horror of a breaking news story unfold before my eyes. There had been a riot in the prison my mom was being held at. At least 90 inmates dead along with two correctional officers. My heart started racing and my hands shook. I worried if one of the inmates dead would be my mother. For me, time slowed as I watched the reporter give details on what they knew about the riot so far. With all the thoughts going at full speed in my head I didn't realize I dropped the coffee mug and it shattered on the ground. Paul seemed to be the one that heard it and came out to me. Paul immediately saw the paleness in my face and that my hands were shaking. 
"Joe? Joe, what's wrong?" 
"I have to go back."
"Go back where?" Paul said sitting down next to me trying to calm me down.
I pointed to the TV screen and Paul sighed. 
I wondered if my mother had been one of the victims of this terrible accident. Even though, I hated her for doing what she did to me I didn't want her to be dead. I closed my eyes and felt tears streamed down my cheeks. I didn't cry very often and everyone knew that but this had struck a nerve. I cried in front of Paul and I didn't even care. There was nothing I could do to keep from crying. Paul held me as I cried. 
"Hey, man. It's okay, I got you." 
"What if she's dead?" I asked. 
"Don't think about that. If you feel as though you need to go and make sure then that's okay." 
Even though Paul told me not to think about, it was all I could think about. I tried to stop crying and collected myself and saw Paul give me a sympathetic look. I straightened my shoulders and took a couple deep breaths. 
"I'm going to go out and see." 
"I'll let everyone know." 
"It may be longer than it was last time." 
"How long?" 
"This time, I'm not sure. I'll be back I just don't know when." 
I stood up and continued to watch the TV with my hands on my hips. 
"Sorry about the mug, I'll clean it up." 
"Don't bother, you just focus on getting on a flight, I'll clean it man." 
"I can't believe this happened. I hate her for leaving me man but she's still my mom." 
Paul stood up and nodded. 
"I understand completely, but like I said you need to do whatever feels right." 
I nodded and looked back over at the TV. 
"I'm here for you no matter what happens." 
"Thanks Paul..."
"Are you going to tell Christine?"
I looked over at Paul unsure of what to say. "I don't know, I don't want to hurt her especially if I don't know when I'll be back."
"Joe, don't do that to her, you love her."
"I know that Paul but she knows how I feel when it comes to my mother, we've spoken it about it briefly but I will write her a letter that I want you to give her."
"I guess." Paul said looking down while sighing. 

I started packing and then I sat down to write Christine the letter. I didn't want to face her with this information because it hit close to home. I also didn't want to hurt her. I didn't know how long I would be gone and when I was coming home. This was something I needed to do on my own. When I finished writing it I left it on Paul's pillow. I grabbed my suitcase and made my way to the airport. On the way to the airport I clenched my fists thinking about the last encounter I had with my mother. It wasn't very pleasant but I needed to know if she was okay. 

I finally board my plane and looked out the window as the plane took off. I took a deep breath and rested my head back against the head rest. All I could think about was Christine and how she would feel about the letter. I was trembling at this point. It was overwhelming having this many thoughts and not knowing how to feel about them. I sighed. 
"Christine, I'm so sorry. I'll be home as soon as I can." I whispered as I thought about her.