Lost Innocence

Chapter Fourty Two

POV Christine

After the night I went to see Paul I didn't see him again for a whole year. I had been spending most of my time with Joe and Samantha. Samantha was twelve and she was more beautiful and grown up. I couldn't believe that she was almost going to be a teenager and I couldn't believe I was thirty. One morning I woke up and Joe was already awake making breakfast. I got in the shower and closed my eyes. I was very tired from working and trying to be a good mom and wife. I spoke to the girls every day, they were the only ones that kept me from falling into a dark pit of depression and sorrow. After I finished getting ready I received a call from Sherrie. When I answered all I heard were cries. 
"Sherrie, are you alright?" I asked. 
"Steven and I, we ended things." Sherrie said. The boys had finished their most recent tour so they were home for a few months. 
"Oh Sher, I am so sorry, do you need me to come over?" I asked. 
"No, but Emily wants us all to meet at her house." 
"I'll be there soon." I said. 
When we hung up I finished getting ready and ate a quick bite with Joe and Samantha. Once we ate, we all went to Emily's apartment. Everyone was already there by the time me and Joe arrived with Samantha. I greeted everyone and then stood in front of Paul for the first time since that night that I seeked him in his apartment. Paul hugged me tightly and I hugged back as I inhaled the strong scent of his cologne. I felt him place a soft kiss on my cheek that made me blush. 
"It's been a while." he said softly.
"Too long." I said still hugging him. 
"You look gorgeous." he said smiling. 
I was about to say something when Steven greeted me. I hugged him and he kissed my cheek.

After a couple of minutes of people socializing I walked up to the roof and looked out into the city. I felt a hand placed on my shoulder which startled me. When I looked back I saw Paul. 
"Christine, I'm so sorry." 
"Don't be, and please I don't want to talk about this right now." 
"I should have been supportive but I was in so much pain."
"I understand Paul." 
"I love you Christine." 
"I know and you know that I love you too."
"I'll never stop." Paul said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me close. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my forehead against his. My heart raced and my breath quickened. In that moment right or wrong didn't matter, the only thing that mattered was the love we had for each other. We both leaned in until our lips touched and the kissed turned passionate quickly. Paul pulled me in closer until I finally pulled away. 
"No, I can't. I'm married." I said as I stepped back. 
The look on Paul's face matched the look on mine. We both knew what we had just done was wrong. 
"I'm so sorry." Paul said.
I stepped closer but kept my distance. "You don't have to be sorry, we just have to be careful. First off, we don't know who could catch us and second of all I'm married to your best friend and yes I love you but this has always been near impossible for us." 
I looked down after I finished with tears in my eyes and Paul pulled me into his arms and offered comfort. Paul kissed my head as he held me. 
"Let's go back inside." Paul said holding my hand. 
We walked back inside and I talked to Sherrie about the break-up and she told me that they both agreed it wasn't working out between them. Especially because they still loved their exes. I hugged her and I could see that Steven hated to see her in so much pain. I felt for them both and offered them both my support whenever they needed it. 

POV Joe 

The next day I went over to Ryan's place because he needed me. When I walked in I saw him on the couch drinking a beer. He looked different, like he was in pain. I quickly made my way to him.
"Are you alright?" I asked as I sat down next to him. 
"My girl and I broke up, she moved out and into another apartment." Ryan said.
"Why?" I asked.
"She said something along the lines of she found someone else and she didn't want to be with me anymore." Ryan said as he threw the bottle of beer across the room. I jumped a bit when I heard the sound of the glass shatter. Ryan was really messed up about this. I looked at Ryan as he looked back. "I'm so sorry man." I said.
"I was with her for so long." 
I placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know, I know but listen you'll get through this." 
Ryan took out a joint from his pocket and began to smoke it. I could tell how drunk he had been and now he was going to get high. 
"Let me have a hit." I said as he passed it to me. Instead I put it out and Ryan looked annoyed. 
"You don't need that shit, you need to rest. Come on." I said as I helped him up. I helped him get to the bedroom and helped him get in the bed. When he had fallen asleep I sat back down on the couch and took out a vile with white powder. I inhaled it and threw my head back. I made sure every trace of it was gone so that Ryan wouldn't see it. Ryan was always against cocaine, the furthest he'd ever gone was weed. Steven and I were still doing cocaine and the addiction only got stronger. We hid it and this time we were smart about it. We knew how to not get caught. 

The next couple of months were spent working on a new album for The Runaways. During that time my relationship with Christine started getting bad and Samantha turned thirteen. Small arguments with Christine would turn into screaming matches and we were both becoming very unhappy in the marriage. I still loved her and I knew she loved me but there was something missing. Christine had gained an addition to alcohol and it got worse as the months passed. One night when I got home from the recording studio I found Christine looked out the wine with a bottle of red wine in her hands. Christine didn't even bother to grab a glass she drank straight from the bottle. I sighed as I watched her. I walked over and made my way next to her. 
"How's Sam?" I asked. 
Christine didn't even look at me. "In bed." 
Christine put the bottle on the coffee table and walked to the bedroom. I sighed as I put the bottle of wine away. I looked at my watch. Shit! It was midnight. No wonder she was pissed. I decided to give Christine her space and laid down on the couch. I woke up to the sun coming through the blinds and yawned. It was 9 in the morning. Christine and Samantha were still asleep. I heard a knock on my door and opened it. It was Paul. 
"Hey man." I said as I yawned. 
"Wanna go for a walk?" Paul asked. 
"Sure." I said 
I grabbed my coat and we walked around Central Park. 
"Is Christine alright? I've noticed she hasn't been acting herself lately." Paul asked concerned. I looked down knowing full well that she wasn't alright.
"She's an alcoholic. I'm trying to get her help." 
Paul frowned. "I'll do anything I can to help too." 
"Thanks man." I said. "We've been fighting a lot lately." 
"It's gotten that bad?" Paul asked. "Is that what started the drinking?" 
"I'm not sure, maybe. I don't really know what caused it, it just happened. Our fights get bad." I said. Paul and I found a bench and decided to sit for a couple of minutes. 
I rubbed my hands together, it was a cold November morning. "We've been through a hell of a lot and we are still incredibly close, I'm glad I have you in my life." I said softly. 
"We're brother no matter what." Paul said. "You can't get rid of me very easily. I can't believe it though. We've been friends since we were toddlers and now look at us, we're thirty one and we are famous rockstars." 
I stood up so we can start walking back to the apartment. When we got back to my place I gave Paul a hugged and walked into the apartment. Samantha was watching TV and Christine was cooking dinner. I hoped she was sober. I made my way over to her and kissed her cheek. She didn't respond.